For eight years, I believed that I could transform my ex-husband into someone else. I encouraged him, coached him, cheered him…anything in my power to change him into what I viewed as his full potential. Even though he constantly asked for my help, the truth was, he never put his full heart into it. I wanted him to change much more than he did, and I was so blind by my mission that I never accepted him for who he was. Not surprisingly, this conflict contributed to the end of our marriage.
We want to believe that we are a positive force for change, both in our lives and in those around us. We see role models accomplishing this all the time. Great teachers can mold young minds. Great philanthropists can provide opportunities to those who have none. But just because you want others to change doesn’t mean you control them. In the end, it is up to each individual to live his own life.
So while we can’t control others, there are things in our control that may influence others to change for the better: