“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Jesus Christ
Do you often find yourself worrying a lot? If so, you are not alone. I used to be a big time worrier.
I would worry constantly about things that would usually never happen. Time and time again it has happened to me.
For example, here are some of the things I would worry about:
- How a visit would go before my company arrived
- If I would get into a car accident before entering into rush hour traffic
- If I would run into someone that I wasn’t on good terms with
I would also worry about “bigger” things like:
- If I was on track with my long-term financial plan
- If I would ever get into the kind of physical shape that I wanted
- If I would ever finally meet my soul mate (which I did by the way!)
You may have noticed that a lot of these bullet points contain the word “if” in them. It is exactly that kind of “what if thinking” that will make you sick.
One day I was browsing the self-help section of a bookstore and noticed a book entitled How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie. The title instantly jumped out at me and needless to say I picked up a copy.
It was almost as if Dale himself was speaking to me and will go down as one of my all-time favorite books. I could not put it down.
While all of the points in the book did not apply to me there are some major things that jumped out at me personally. Once I understood and applied these concepts I started to experience a lot more peace and joy in my life.
5 Ways to Stop Worrying
1. Most Things You Worry About Never Happen
I already mentioned this briefly, and ironically it is so true. Just think back to how many things you have worried about that never actually happened.
Hindsight is always 20/20 and you will always see this after the fact. Usually a particular circumstance you are so worried about goes way smoother than you imagined.
And in the small event that something you worry about will happen simply put it into perspective. Ask yourself “What is the worst that can happen?”
Usually it is not that bad and you can prepare yourself for the outcome.
2. Don’t Make Majors Out Of Minors
Sometimes it can be the little things that get you. If you add them all up they can become a huge source of frustration and will occupy a lot of your time.
It could be what you heard a particular person say about you or it could simply be that you lost a piece of ID somewhere. In most cases, here’s a question I frequently ask myself…
Will it really matter in 5 years?
This allows me to really put things into perspective and stop making majors out of minors. Life is too short for that!
3. Take Things One Day At A Time
There is a saying that says yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery. Therefore there is no need to worry about what hasn’t happened yet.
Just worry about making it through today and once you see that you can do it you will know you can handle almost anything that comes your way.
Looking too far ahead can be overwhelming.
4. Don’t Worry About What You Cannot Change
Now that we’ve discussed the future let’s talk about the past. Learn to let the past go!
Once something happens it happens. You can learn from it but constantly reliving events really serves no purpose other than to torture you.
If you can’t change something it is best to learn to accept it. Once you accept it you can make the most of the situation.
5. Think Positive Thoughts To Replace The Bad Ones
Out of everything we went over so far this one can take the most discipline. Each time you notice yourself starting to worry unnecessarily try your best to think about something else that it positive.
Over a period of time it will slowly become easier for you to replace a bad habit with a good one. It might not be easy at first and you might not even catch yourself worrying right away.
But eventually if you keep at it you will start to see progress over a period of time. This will help you to become a much stronger person.
You won’t be as uptight and anxious all of the time and you will really enjoy life a lot more. You will appear much more laid back (and cool looking!) and you will feel much more liberated!
Aaaahhh, easier said than done, but, I will try, yet again!!! Nice piece, thanks.
Hello Sue, that’s the spirit! Glad you liked it.
This is a great post. it is so true that we worry over things that usually don’t even happen! Now i just have to remember that the next time I worry!
one really great quote that i have read recently is:
“Worrying doesn’t empty tomorrow of its troubles; it empties today of its strength.”
Hi Karen – I agree. It’s pretty hard to enjoy life today if we are always worried about tomorrow.
Randy,
Two years ago I had the exact same experience. I took the Dale Carnegie Leadership Course and this was part of the required reading. Changed my life! The advice that worked best for me was “Think that the worst possible outcome has already happened and improve your position from there.” I do this all the time when considering “problems” and I now know there’s usually nothing to get worked up over. Thank you for putting your thoughts out there.
Trent
Hi Trent – Sounds like a great course you took. The book is definitely life changing material. The best part about it, as we can both attest to is that it works!
Thanks for commenting ;)
It is like worrying keeps people busy.
In my case I don’t have time to worry. Of course I’m human and I do expect that feeling, but most of the time I don’t focus on worries.
My day to day activity which I love and I’m on a pursuit to achieve a goal helps me focus on doing things and it makes my mind busy all the time.
I find that people who worry are those who have time to meditate on a lot of things. They have a lot thoughts coming to their head and they have arrange them in some way. They think if thought came to their mind, than it’s important and they have find a way to deal with it.
To bad people don’t have filters in their head. That would help!
Sometimes work is the best medicine of all! Glad you have found a solution that works for you. Thanks for sharing.
Having had some major issues in my life, I often worry about the little things and deal with major crises with expertise. I wonder why that is?
Hi Dan – Interesting perspective. It could be that little things catch us off guard and we don’t see them coming. A lot of little things often add up to a major headache!
One of the best tips that I learned here: Don’t worry about what you cannot change. I totally agree to it. Most of the times we just keep on crying when something bad happens, which is a part of life.
Nice summarization of the book. Its quite evident that all of it is true, however practicing it still requires a lot of discipline.
“It makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there’s nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? The activity of worrying keeps you immobilized.” Wayne Dyer