Author: Alex Fayle

Finding Happiness Within

In my last post on The Change Blog, I talked about disconnecting your happiness from others – how when you depend on others for your happiness you only make yourself (and others) more unhappy. Instead, I said, you need to find happiness within.

Easier said than done though, I know. To find happiness within, you can go to coaches, psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, therapists, or any other number of happiness professionals. You can read books, blogs, or magazines, watch TV shows and DVDs or listen to the radio, podcasts or self-improvement CDs.

And yet when it comes down to it, there are only two things you need to remember if you want to be happy.

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Don’t Hang Your Happiness On Others

Where’s the line between your happiness and the happiness of others?

A lot of people blur the boundary and hang their happiness on others. Unfortunately by doing so, they pretty much guarantee unhappiness for everyone involved. No matter who is in your life, whether it’s children, spouse, friends or family members, your happiness has to come from within first. And then once you’re happy, you can help others work on their happiness in a healthy way.

But isn’t it better to give of yourself and make sure others are happy? Isn’t that the selfless thing to do?

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3 Ways to Take More Personal Responsibility

English culture, especially North American culture, does not like the idea of personal responsibility. If I got drunk at a bar and ended up in a car accident, I could sue the bar for serving me. If I broke into your home and tripped over the dog, I could sue you for damages.

Pop psychology and daytime television have filled our heads with the idea that it’s never our fault. We can blame our parents, the system, or (more recently) our genetic makeup.

And what have we ended up with? A couple of generations of people who refuse to take responsibility for their lives, saying “but it’s not my fault” every time something bad happens.

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Should I Stay or Should I Go? Determining Whether the 9-5 World Is For You.

If you believe the hype of many of the personal development blogs out there, figuring out your passion, kissing the 9-5 world goodbye and working for yourself is the best way to find happiness.

But is it really?

Self-employment has some serious drawbacks. Even if you put yourself on a schedule, you never really leave work because you carry work around in your head at all times. You don’t get paid vacations, unless you earn well enough to pay yourself to take time off, and if you want retirement savings or a health plan you need to pay for them yourself. And don’t get me started on the non-passion related stuff, such as administration, marketing, sales and customer service!

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