Personal Growth & Transformation

Find and Live Your Kefi

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Kefi

Kefi is a Greek word that can be described as a feeling of pure exhilaration where you have bliss, excitement, and euphoria. During moments of Kefi your entire being experiences a rush that you want to share with others. You smile, laugh, dance, or sing. You do whatever it takes to release this joy. Hard to translate since words cannot completely explain the feeling when one does experience it. While Greek dancing at the full moon party in Folegandros’ port, I had it, and this is when my friend explained the word to me. It was beautiful. My journey is about finding Kefi and I know that all of us can find it if we just let it in.

My life prior to May was not about living Kefi.  It was about achieving, climbing corporate ladders, making more money, getting more degrees, working long hours, thriving on stress, buying homes, saving for retirement, etc.  You get the picture.  I was doing everything right; the way society accepts and defines ‘how to live a successful life’.  I am very gracious for the abundance that 18 years of working brought me and the experience gained while working in top consulting firms, travelling the world, and engaging with some of the world’s largest corporations.  To some, this might sound like living the American Dream.  For me, it became a living nightmare as I dragged myself out of bed each morning to go into the office and sit in my dark cubicle.

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It Was Never My Fault: My Personal Journey from Blame to Acceptance

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acceptance

My world was changing in every sense of the phrase. At the age of 12, I was moving from the Ukraine to Canada. I was leaving all of my friends and family as well as everything that I had known since the day I was born. I was going to be alone, an outsider; I was going to be the immigrant in all of my classes. If the life changes experienced through adolescence weren’t grueling enough, now, I had to cope with moving to an entirely foreign place with nothing but my parents and a suitcase.

I had an incredibly difficult time adapting to my new environment and my new life. I was immersed in a culture completely unknown to me. It wasn’t easy making new friends; especially when your first languages differ from one another. I yearned for the company of my friends and extended family back home.

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Stop Chasing Money and Start Chasing Richness

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richness

It took me a long time to realize money would never make me happy.

A trip around the world finally drilled this truth into my brain, and it has dramatically changed my life. I spent my early years on a high-achievement track. I’d always been a go-getter: earning good grades in school, graduating at the top of my class, and moving rapidly up the career ladder. After my wife and I graduated from Harvard, I thought we had it made.

I found a high-powered job. I worked for a major consulting firm, flying around the world to solve tough problems with top executives. Still, something was missing.

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How I Lost and Found Myself in a 216 Mile Relay Race

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found myself

When I signed up for the Cascade Lakes Relay (a 216.6 mile race through central Oregon’s high desert) I was thrilled at the opportunity to experience the outdoors through an activity that I love. On the road I took in the picturesque landscapes, the expanse of trees, the crisp air, and the comfort of knowing that the noise and distractions of Portland were miles away.

At times throughout the course, CLR seems like any other race. As people run their legs, their teammates pass them and cheer from support vans, and I felt like I was part of a magnificent event. But when my own support van passed me in the middle of my legs, I was caught off guard by the unexpected solitude.

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Coming Out of the Closet: How I Guided People Through My BIG Change

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jeffery straker

I grew up in a small rural town on the prairies of Canada – the town had about 300 people in it. I knew I was ‘different’ while in school but I didn’t actually know I was gay until university. I did my 3rd year of studies over in the UK and that’s when it all started to make sense. When you’re in a different country, all of a sudden you inherit the ability to re-invent and it was magical.

Back in Canada and all done university, I had moved to Toronto for a job I had at the time and was traveling back to the prairies to visit family from time to time. I had come out of the closet in my Toronto life but hadn’t really told anyone back at home on the prairies – it was easy not to, as they were so far away. I had experienced the art of telling people I was gay in Toronto but there was something about telling your parents and closest childhood friends that was a bit terrifying, I have to admit.

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30 Lessons Learned From 30 Years of Change

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30 lessons

As I write this post, I was brought into this world 30 years ago today.

Even though 30 is apparently the new 20, and some days I feel like my real life is just starting to get interesting, I find myself reflecting on the experiences of the last 30 years, and all of the lessons I’ve managed to learn along the way.

So here they are, (well 30 of them at least) categorized to help readability, but in no particular order of importance.

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Dealing with the Calm Before the Storm

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calm before the storm

As I write this, I am less than two weeks away from the birth of my second child. Life as I know it now will be dramatically different once the new child is born. In some ways, I will re-learn what it means to be a parent, as all children are different. My expectations will break and reform as I navigate the world of raising both a toddler and an infant. I will need to help my elder daughter cope with this dramatic transition. I have no idea when I’m supposed to sleep during all of this. There’s only one thing I know for certain: things will change, and not always in the way I expect them.

I call these periods before dramatic change the “calm before the storm.” We’ve all experienced them. Leaving for college, changing jobs, coping with relationship changes, and many other situations can create these little pockets of borrowed time. There are two general facets to dealing with them: “enjoy your last moments of familiarity” vs. “prepare yourself for change.”

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A Sobering Experience: Why Life is Better Without Booze

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life without booze

I’m sure I could have fun without drinking, but why risk it?

My husband and I were always known as the ‘fun couple’. There was always a reason to drink; parties, cottage weekends, sporting events and festive gatherings. Besides, everyone else was doing it, what’s the harm?

Were we binge drinkers? Yes we did often drink heavily over a short period of time, and yes it often effected our decisions and judgement, but we also had many deep belly laughs and indescribable fun throughout the years.

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