I was never the “cool” kid in school. I was an angst-ridden band geek, and my only friends were the “smart kids”. Over the years my personality has definitely gone through some major changes. As I started to understand how to overcome the fear of who I am and find my most magnetic qualities, I’ve also learned quite a bit about people in general.
As part of my Personal Power II project that I’m working on, one of the things I’ve started incorporating into my daily routine is power questions. One of my questions that I’ve been using in order to make changes in my life is “what makes me attractive”?. Everyday I come up with different answers and the idea is at the end of 30 days my brain will make a connection between being awake and all these states. Today, when I was asked myself that question, the answer I came up with was making people feel good about themselves.
I think that one of the greatest things you can do to attract people to you like a magnet is to make people feel good about themselves. Why doe this work? It’s simple. It’s basically a neuro-association at work. People connect and associate good feelings to you after a while. Let’s look at some practical tips on how you can do this.
1. Leave a Comment on Their Blog (if they have one).
This is something that doesn’t take long and believe it or not it can make somebody’s day, especially if the person is a fairly new blogger. Make sure it’s a well articulated positive comment instead of just saying it’s a nice post.
2. Send them an Email.
I’ve started to get at least one email a week with somebody telling me they appreciate my blog and have found it really makes my day. It’s really great to hear that and I feel compelled to do something nice for those people because they’ve made me feel good.
3. Tell someone you appreciate their friendship.
I don’t think we express our gratitude for our friends enough. We’re so caught up in our world of information overload, that we forget a small gesture expressing your appreciation for somebody can really go a long way. Friendship is one of those things that we really shouldn’t take for granted, but too often do.
4. Write Something Nice About them on their Facebook Wall.
It’s funny, but feel like the only time we really go out of our way to say something nice on Facebook to somebody is on their birthdays. Imagine if you wrote something nice on all of your closest friends walls for the next 30 days. You’d be spreading a lot of positive energy.
5. Compliment Them on Something Unique.
Unfortunately compliments have gotten to a point where they can be a bit insincere and seem as if you are saying them just to get something. So, if you do decide to do this, then make sure it’s something really unique that you are complimenting somebody on.
6. Radiate Warm Positive Energy.
This is something that is kind of an unspoken thing and something that you just give off. There are things you can do to control your own energy, which really are just a function of focusing your own mind on all the positive things in your life. I think all people give off an energy or a vibe and I think all other people can sense that. Whether you have ever talked to me or not, just from reading my writing you form certain impressions about me on an unconscious level. As a result you’re either drawn to me or not.
7. Participate in a High Adrenaline Activity Together.
A few nights ago I was watching a documentary called This Emotional Life. In one part of the documentary, there was a couples therapist who was doing research in what makes people bond. One of the interesting things he discovered was that those couples who tended to participate in a an exciting activity together tended to have more affection towards each other. To me, this isn’t a particularly brilliant insight. It’s basic conditioning at work. Do something that makes you feel good and you’ll connect it to the other person. That is why I love the idea of somebody catching their first wave when they’re with me because I know that their life will be changed forever, and they’ll link that up with me :).
All of this really is about being sincere and genuine. If this is done in such a way that it comes across manipulative, then it won’t work at all.