Becoming Me: Discovering My True Self After Divorce
“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.” – E.E. Cummings
Married. That was my place, once before. Every day I fulfilled my role as the loyal and good wife while carrying my little boy on my hip. I thought I had it all; love, health, stability, family, social acceptance and more. On the surface, everything seemed picture perfect. I believed I was living true to myself. But something was not quite right…
Fast forward to February of 2015. The reality bombs dropped hard blowing up my life into millions of pieces. Complete and utter devastation was left behind. Shock and despair consumed my entire body. After years of living in denial, the truth of my failing marriage rose to the surface shattering my world.
Reality struck. My life as a wife was over. The future I had planned in my heart for my husband and our son went up in flames leaving me with the ashes of broken dreams.
Standing knee deep in the wreckage, I climbed out to save myself this crushing reality. Once I could breathe and regain consciousness, I began the arduous task of cleaning up the debris to build a solid foundation for my post-divorce life.
Some might say I was building a new me as a changed woman. But that’s not all true. Yes, the divorce was life changing. My living arrangements changed. My financial situation changed. My perspective on life changed. But I didn’t change…
I was becoming the real me.
During my marriage, I thought I was living true to myself aligned with my soul. But really, I was molded into someone who wasn’t me. I listened to everyone else’s expectations of how I should think and act rather being to true to my own desires, thoughts and actions. Instead of listening to the longing in my heart, I second guessed myself and didn’t believe in my natural abilities.
Ready to heal and revitalize my essence, I worked diligently to clean up the mess and start a new beginning. The more I dug through the rubble, the more I healed, the more my true self began to shine through the cracks.
Although painful, this excavation was necessary. I was on a divine mission digging for gold beneath the shattered pieces of my old self. Layers upon layers of my ego were thrown away one by one. The connection to my authentic self grew stronger creating the pathway to wholeness.
As I reached closer to the bottom, I recognized the person I’ve been hiding all these years. These discoveries gave me the energy, hope and motivation to move forward.
- I found my passion for writing and started an inspirational blog.
- I embraced my powers of strength and resilience getting through me the tough times.
- I realized I’m capable of achieving my goals while taking care of myself.
- I learned what’s most important by redefining my core values and priorities.
- I discovered my life purpose of using creative and intuitive gifts of healing to inspire others to live their life and create miracles for themselves.
- Most of all, I grow closer to God while learning to love myself unconditionally regardless of my circumstances.
Following the crash and burn of my marriage, I had choices. I could have claimed victim living in anger burning everything left behind. I could have lived in denial leaving the wreckage alone. But instead, I chose to heal viewing my wounds as sacred.
My sacred wounds opened my heart allowing the light of my soul to awaken. As my inner beauty was revealed, I persevered and kept digging through the wreckage until I struck gold—my authentic self.
After many days of pain, joy, exhaustion and exhilaration, the rocks from the mass destruction are finally cleared away. All that remains is the gold treasure of my true self once hidden, but now ready to shine. This piece of gold is dusty and needs polishing, but that’s ok. Learning about your true self is an endless journey, for your soul is ever evolving.
Now here I stand with this precious gold before me serving as a solid foundation to build my new life upon. Every brick, mortar, beam and nail will be a reflection of my true self-aligned with my core values, passions and dreams. I don’t know what this building will look like, how tall it will stand, or how many windows it will have. But here’s one thing I know for sure. My new building of life will be tough, strong and beautiful allowing me to become authentically…