How I Found Peace Through Yoga and Meditation After Personal Trauma
“In Japan, broken objects are often repaired with gold. The flaw is often seen as a unique piece of the objects history, which adds to it’s beauty. Consider this when you feel broken.”
Like anyone, I have suffered challenges and disappointments in my life. I strived so hard to succeed and it came at a very high cost. My career began with a diploma in Office Management and a Master of Arts while in my motherland of India. I got married and moved to Singapore and continued my education, learning English and basic Chinese. I bounced around Singapore, India, and countries in South East Asia. During that time, I began to immerse myself into yoga and meditation. I enjoyed the practices but didn’t connect deeply to it until later in my life.
Once my husband and I were settled back in Singapore, I got pregnant. We were delighted. I mentally imagined what it would be like to be a mother. I couldn’t wait to meet the tiny person growing in me. Then, the unthinkable happened halfway through my pregnancy. Complications occurred and I had to make the choice to abort the child. Everything that was once important to me seemed to matter much less. All the material aspects of my life and my achievements just didn’t matter any longer.
After such a painful experience, I knew I needed to take time and reflect. Upon my reflection, I knew that I had two decisions. I could down spiral into the sadness or I could go through the slow and painful process of true healing. I decided I would feel the pain, embrace it fully with compassion and then release it.
My meditation and yoga experiences from the travels with my husband were an invaluable tool in the healing process. Through yoga, I kept myself physically healthy and allowed my heart to open up to the full experience of my pain. Meditation allowed me to look deeply within myself. Meditation allowed me to look past the surface level thoughts and see the true source of my pain. When something so traumatic happens, the grief process and it’s many facets are challenging. The real emotions are hard to find, they mask themselves. My masks were that I blamed myself, I was angry and I was devastated. Though, the truth was that my soul ached for the connection of my child. I needed time to accept the loss. No blame, no anger. Just raw emotion for the loss. Meditation and yoga allowed me to face these challenges with compassion and truth.
Not only did I give birth to a healthy baby boy a year later, I also took yoga teacher training. I truly believe that yoga can tend all our wounds and afflictions through loving practice. After giving birth to my second child, I took a step back from actively teaching yoga but it’s still a large part of my life.
I sometimes hear people say that they’re no good at yoga because they have tight muscles or can’t stay in one spot for long. I think that yoga shouldn’t be looked at as a sport or a physical activity that can or can’t be done properly. The benefits are far too advantageous. It can heal all wounds in a gentle and loving way. It relieves the stress and uncertainty we live with.
I consider yoga a friend that will help me through any of the storms I face in life. It hasn’t let me down yet. I am not sure who I would be if I didn’t have yoga and meditation in my life. Instead of letting grief break me, I let it propel me into finding myself. Within that finding of self, I created something wonderful.
Do you have a story about how yoga or meditation helped you through a difficult time in your life?