Have you ever found yourself standing in front of the mirror and yelling at yourself or hating yourself? Do you understand what it feels like to be completely disgusted with yourself and longing for a change? We often spend time upset about something, allowing our environment and circumstances to dictate whether or not we are going to be happy. The truth is that we can live our lives with happiness and decide that we are going to do whatever it takes to be happy. You can be happy if you have the mind to.
Happiness is something we must do on purpose. In the midst of struggles or difficulties, we must choose to be happy. Happiness does not come from the acquisition of money or things; happiness begins from within each of us. Being happy within ourselves simply means showing mercy to ourselves, forgiving ourselves, befriending ourselves, accepting ourselves, and loving ourselves. It’s a lifelong journey that requires regular self-examination and an ongoing process of making peace with ourselves. It means discovering what makes us unhappy and choosing to live in peace. It means treating ourselves with compassion and kindness. It makes us to begin to enjoy life more and more and celebrate it as adventure in peace. It helps us to live life to the fullest, and help make the world a better place for us and others.
However, being happy within ourselves may be one of the most difficult challenges we will ever face. For some, this challenge may prove too difficult to handle, and as a result, they allow it to rule them. Many prefer to endure the challenges, while others love to overcome them but do not how to get out of them.
If you belong to any of these categories, the following tips could help you experience happiness within yourself.
1. Forgive yourself
Forgive yourself for thinking negatively. Forgive yourself for talking, without thinking twice. Forgive yourself for being rude to your superior, your friend, your parents, or your siblings. Don’t think negative thoughts about yourself for taking wrong steps or making wrong decisions. This kind of thinking puts your focus on the problem and not the solution. It’s better to say good things about yourself than to say negative things. Always saying positive things about yourself is a sign that you have forgiven yourself.
2. Forgive others
If we want to make peace with others, we first need to be at peace with ourselves. Learn to forgive and forget and let go of things quickly. It is not good to resent and hold grudges. People who hold grudges and resent their past incidents often suffer from cardiac and psychological problems. The easiest way to forgive others is to assume that they didn’t offend us in the first place. If you weren’t offended, you wouldn’t have the course to be offended or to forgive others.
3. Stop thinking and talking about your problems
Instead, focus on the good in every situation you face and every person you are in a relationship with – including yourself.
4. Focus on being a blessing to others
Get your mind off yourself and focus on blessing others instead. When you bless others, the blessings will come back to you; it’s a wonderful phenomenon many don’t understand. After all, life is not all about receiving; it’s more of giving.
5. Be busy
The busier you are, the less time you have to think, especially, about something or someone who left you with negative feelings. Being busy is the best way to keep negative thoughts from provoking you repeatedly.
6. Recount the things you have achieved
Take some personal time to be with myself and recount the things you have achieved and the things you have. Counting one’s blessings and achievements makes one feel fulfilled and happy. We often hate ourselves when we feel we have not achieved anything. The best way to count your blessings is to write down whatever you have achieved. No matter what happens in our lives, we have life, air to breathe, food to eat, some friends, family and associates, a measure of wealth and a measure of health.
7. Develop a pastime
Spend your free time on reading, listening to music, watching movies or other activities. This enables you to put your mind off the problems you are facing and the thoughts you have about yourself.
8. Be content with WHO you are
Don’t focus on things about yourself that you have no control over. Don’t strive to be like someone else. Don’t care about what other people think or say about you, when you’re not even sure whether they are right or wrong. When you do this, you relieve yourself of a lot of stress and anxiety. Be content with yourself, while you hope for a better you.
9. Never lose hope
There’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Hope is something you can never afford to lose. With hope you always have a path towards happiness. Hope reminds you that everything will be ok. With hope, you know that whatever looks terrible is only temporary and that soon enough, things will be just fine.
Randy Stiver once noted that ‘happiness must be pursued by personally choosing the right thoughts, right words and right actions at the right time.’ In short, our happiness depends on us.
Photo by tommerton2010
This advice is so wonderful when you are having “one of those days”. It is so important not to focus on what is going wrong in your life, but to focus on what you have. Forgiveness always puts my mind at ease :)
I like to remind myself that the world around me is there for me to play with and explore. The source of my choices are within me and are 100% mine, it is here I choose to be happy within myself.
These are very good tips. It is hard to just stop focusing on your problems; however, it’s easier when you choose to focus on something new and/or exciting. I find it very helpful to workout, complete a puzzle, or go to a festival when things aren’t going well. This keeps me from dwelling on the bad and refocuses my attention on what’s going right in my life.
These are great steps toward happiness, but I’d suggest trading “hope” for intention. Hope to me has always seemed like a wimpy vision of the future. Hoping isn’t the same thing and knowing and believing. I think when we can accept what is about us and our experiences and we can see and believe in and know that it just gets better and better, we create a powerful energy that’s transformational.
Forgiveness is indeed the key to self-acceptance and happiness as a result. When you torture yourself with thoughts depicting how weak or miserable you are, what you do wrong in your life, you will hardly experience a positive development. Forgive yourself and find a distance to what or who you think you are. Humans are supposed to make mistakes and there is nothing to be desperate about.
Thanks, Olusegun! In behalf of the many people out there seeking means to understand themselves and find happiness, I am very grateful for this post. It lists down the basic ideas to find joyful meaning to one’s existence. But most of all, it highlights the truth that happiness is not what other people or outside forces would impact on one’s life. Happiness is within ourselves and we just need to let this ignite a better perspective, improved course of action and higher appreciation of who we really are. That way, we can truly be happy. Thanks again for the nine tips, Olu… Keep it up, puhleez! Many people need this kind of information. Cheers!
Excellent post. Being busy is by far the best in my opinion. I’m always busy and I’m happy as long as it’s a choice busy, i.e. working towards my own goals.
I think this is the best opinion that anyone could take.
After i read this I felt happier than I was before .
After leaving an abusive relationship, I had to forgive myself for staying with this man when I knew from the start he was not a good healthy man to be with.
It was hard toimagine that I would find happiness when losing what I thought to be my true love.
.
The best part is when you recover, you find yourself with more joy and happiness you could ever imagine. My self seteem is much stronger than it has ever been. I am truly amazed how strong I have become. I finally see how much this lesson in love has turned my life around into something better than aI could of ever imagined.
I am so pleased for you TBurton.
Wishing you every blessing and much happiness in your new life.
how did you get over it, how long has it taken i have been a prisioner in my own home for 5 years after being in a abusive and violent relationship
GREATT Advice!!! I am going through something so bad that its messing with my relationship and my confidence! when i am with my other half, i feel like he can see my lack of confidence. I lash out at him accusing him of wanting something more than me, even though i know he does not. this helped me in SO many ways.Just knowing that someone else understands what i am going through and what i need to do to fix it!! Greatly appreciated!
What a nice post, it really help me understand why im so unhappy lately
This advice was lovely! It has really helped me.
Thankyou so so very much :)
Randy Stiver’s quote sounds awfully Buddhist. How nice! It reminds me that we seem to have “universal” means to happiness. Most of the time, I believe that we get stuck in our very narrow minded patterns of thought and action, and need ot realize our connectedness to the rest of the world. I find that connectedness very humbling and comforting.
This article was very good. It hits the nail on the head. Thank you.
So great.Enjoy life.Good every day mindset.
Best wishes for eveyone loving life,best wishes for myself.
Enjoy life is my style….hah…
This advice is very inspiring and helpful to people under such pressure..do not even think of the bad things people say about you..you do not know weather its true or false.
This advice is very inspiring and helpful to people under such pressure..do not even think of the bad things people say about you.you do not know weather its true or false.
Im sorry. But this didn’t help me at all. I feel like this all the time. So unhappy with myself, and everything about me. The only thing in life I don’t really hate is Music&food.
Not kidding. This stuff is so much easier said than done. I want an explanation on HOW I forgive myself. And I want to make it better. I don’t wanna stay busy and forget. Come on. I want to change and be happy with myself. How is that possible? I don’t think it is anymore. I try to be content. Its not a lack of effort that stops me. The only things I’m content with are others and other things around me. I doubt I will ever be with myself. Does anyone, really, ever feel quite happy with themselves? The way they are and act and look, their style, friends, blahh?? Work? School? I’m starting to doubt it. I don’t get how other people deal with it. I want to go back in time. When I was happy. A cute little girl with friends and family. So many fun things happened, that was the only time in my life that I just didn’t think about all this shit. But its impossible. To ever. Go back.
I see that now. But it doesn’t make anything ever better. The best thing I can think is that I have friends and family who seem to enjoy being around me somewhat. I thinnkkk they are content with me. At least my friends. Nope. Scratch that. They all abandon me. They always will. My family constantly complains about all the shit I do. Yet I don’t get why anyones ever around me anyway. But its not like anyones all that good to me. My mom. My best friend Mikayla. Those two are the best. Probably the people I care most about. And then my dad. <33 Never had a boyfriend. Nothing. Nothing. I feel like crap. Maybe I'm tired and need to go to bed. But that wont change anything. I'll wake up tomorrow and feel basically the same. But I shove past and pretend.Pretend everythings okay. There are certain days when I do forget, when Im happy. But those are rare. I pray that my last day of school will be like that. Then maybe I can look at that day and be greatful. Maybe thats what I need to do. Try and be positive and greatful. Im so sorry this is long and I need to stop. My apologies to anyone who reads this. But I needed to get it out. Maybe someone will see this and feel the same. If you have any advice or if you feel the same, please contact me. We can discuss. Reply. Pleaasee…Im lost..gahhh..why am I telling this to strangers. I have problems. WELL NO DUH. Im sorry..Im justt…gonna..ugh..justt…
I don't know why I did this…I'm just gonna stop.
Im sorry.
So sorry.
Hi Sam,i know how you feel and i am 47 years old.My point is get a handle on things now or you will end up like me trying to deal with things when you are older.Get some counselling,do it for yourself.It wont go away by itself.God bless you.If you would like to talk by E-mail let me know.I can let you know what i am up to in helping myself etc.
I use to feel the exact way your expressing!! So I understand where your coming from. This is what helped me I didn’t realize it but I actually was going through depression. And was constantly not only always down on myself and would be myself up as to way I couldn’t find happiness.. I would also blame life for my own problems. At times I wondered why anyone wanted to be around me and eventually it grotto the point where I didn’t even want to be around other people. I just couldn’t be happy. Then I got on medicine and it helped but still there was a empty feeling. That’s when I decided what was missing in my life was me!!! I was unhappy because I was allowing myself to be unhappy…. happiness starts from the inside ( not to mention along with praying and Jesus in your life). I needed to start loving myself and give myself credit for the things in life I had done. Not bash myself for the things I hadn’t done. I had a wake up call and I have to say praying and talking to jeers helped me ALOT!! I don’t know what your religion is but all I can say is love yourself.. I don’t know you but you are here for a REASON!!! And that’s a beautiful thing… you may not believe it at times but you are unique and different in your own special way…. I hope this has helped you.. :)
Sorry I noticed I misspelled a few things! My fingers type to fast correction beat myself up as to why and it got to the point!! I hope the advice everyone on here is giving you helps Sam…Remember you are special and what ever you go through in life shall to pass! This too is temporary it will get better. :)
Hi Sam
There are days when a lot of people will feel the way you do, I have felt the same way quite often over the last few months. Feeling like the answer was to run away or even death. It is easier said than done to believe in yourself, but if you have a low self esteem then it will be even more difficult. Start by taking small steps. Help others who require assistance, try saying the same 2 positive affirmations per day about yourself for about 9 days AND DON’T GIVE UP. If you feel the way you do now, having a boyfriend will be the least of your problems. The relationship may not work because your feelings have yet to be resolved. Try and take time out for yourself and explore what YOU want and think about how YOU are going to achieve this. I agree with Tod below, research in your local area about counselling sessions. You may not see any results initially but perseverance is the key. Wishing you every success in your journey in achieving inner peace.
Sam – it sounds like you have depression.
I don’t know you, but I’ve felt like that in the past. Talk to a counsellor or see a doctor.
I don’t know you but I care about you.
Sammy, know how you feel hun.Things are always easier said than done and even though this kinda just sounds like a before bed rant I can tell you really feel that way, no need to apologise. And if you’re still in high school, just hold out until maybe a few years after? I’ll be honest, every day I went to school I wanted to jump off something very tall lol, but luckily had decent friends. These days, yes I am stuck in a bit of a rut right now, but it’s more just because I need to do something with myself besides eat, sleep and breathe. My point being the older you get the more you learn so stick it out, yeah? You’ll find that happy place one day. :)
Same goes for everyone else here, including me.
Good luck guys!
xo
PS waripamo, I saw something on facebook one day that made me laugh and think “zomg, so true” lol. It said “what others think of you is none of your business”. So I tots agree lol.
Thank you. Seriously, thank you. It’s been forever since I posted this, and I’d completely forgotten about it. But now I remember sitting in my room and crying as I typed it, and seeing that so many people cared enough to try and give me encouraging advice, means a LOT. So thank you, all of you. I’m replying to Maegz, as you were the most recent, but I hope that Adam, Rochelle, Stacy, and Todd see this as well. I have been battling depression, and since I posted this, it’s only gotten worse. I’m ashamed to admit that I fell into a bad habit of self harm. Recently, my family found out, and I have stopped. I’m getting stronger, and all of these words you have taken the time out of your day to write, are only helping me along. I just wanted to let you know how grateful I truly am, and to show that your words truly had an affect, and didn’t go to waste. You’re all wonderful people. Thanks<3
Depression has no rational explanation so I believe it is a metabolical (physical) condition just like anemia (iron deficiency) which makes people very tired, etc.. Therefore you have to give yourself special allowances (including pardon, sympathy and compassion) for a kind of thinking that most other people don’t have and certainly will never understand. People will say to you, oh just “think” your way to happiness. Or the people will challenge your reason for feeling sad (you don’t have to have any reason though). Or to say do this or that mental exercise. Or take a pill (very few work). Or pray. In the end, depression is a feeling of detachment (separation) that is very hard to overcome. It is a feeling of isolation and abandonment. However, you must promise yourself that you recognize this kind of thinking is only a “distortion” of facts, and is not a “reality” unto itself, or it will just pull down. You have to promise yourself that you will not be defeated. Or deceived by false perceptions! Instead the power that will keep you going is knowing that you have something special to offer other people. Maybe that time hasn’t happened yet. But it will. And you will be in the right place at the right time to make a unique difference for somebody else. What happens to us, the people we meet, and the experiences we go through, and what we are empowered to say to one another, all those things are not accidental. They are part of a larger puzzle that we don’t understand. But we are there in the middle of it anyway. We are there to complete a bigger picture. In that regard have faith in your purpose. And have patience that you will be fortunate enough to acknowledge it one day. And to know that everything you’ve been through, and are going through now, has happened for a reason. To put you in a place that will make an important difference for somebody else. Never give up. And never many any decision at the end of a day. Because you will always feel a tiny bit better the next morning! And the more often that you can continue to make that bargain with yourself! Good luck. Many people wish you well. And know that you are very important!
Lately ive been feeling really sad for some reason. I have a boyfriend and its gonna be 6 months next wee. Yesterday i told him about the break for some odd reason my thoughts got to me again i couldn’t control it. I have close friends that give my relationship a downhill I mean they end up talking shit about my boyfriend and i dont know it just makes me feel like shit. I dont let them bother me but it just sometimes. Yesterday i just broke down and told him abut the break when we didnt have problems whats so ever. I felt really stupid i mean im over here thinking alot and this 9 ways to be happy kinda made me feel good about myself.
oh my god it helped so much feel much better
What a nice post, it really help me understand why im so unhappy lately
I can truly say I have been in a hole for at least 7-10 months now… Reading this post made sunshine come to my darkness. At the end, it made me feel sooooo much better. I love how it just made me feel that life goes on & life is what you make it. I can’t stop smiling, thank you so much! :)
this is a very good post. I still struggle with accepting the way I look and the fact im jealous and insecure in my relationship which I honestly have tried everything to change. hopefully after reading this im able to move on from all of the hurt, pain and anger Ive been living with for so so long. I dont want depression anymore. happiness and content is what I seek.
I read this post every couple weeks and appreciate its advice so much.
So simple and so effective.
I love it
Thank you
If you don’t know yourself, what do you do ? What if you don’t want to be happy ? What causes that ?
If we have to work at being happy , why do you think we were made so ? Why isn’t it natural to be happy ?
Do you have to work at being sad ? Seems to come natural to me.
I’m perplexed At 52, and sometimes, I’m just tired of this journey.
Great post. I’m going through a marital separation and I’m so sad and unhappy. This was a great way to remind myself to not lose “hope”. Things will eventually become better. I am in such a race against the clock to become happy that I feel anxious…. And thus unhappy.
This is very helpful. I now know what i need to do to be at ease with myself and everything around me. I searched for anything that could help me love myself more as i am a person who has been blaming myself for the negative things people think or say about me and everything that is going wrong. I am going to put this in action although the highlight here are bless other’s which i intend to do that always makes me feel positive.
Nicely crafted piece of work. I admire writer’s effort for puting up this great article, simple and effective.