Forgiveness is our most important contribution to the healing of the world – Marianne Williamson There was a time not long ago when my father and I hadn’t spoken in years. Ok, we talked on the phone occasionally, …
It’s a good thing that time heals all wounds, because if it didn’t I wouldn’t be able to talk about writing a forgiveness letter at all. Like the pain of giving birth, you can eventually recall that something hurt, but you don’t relive every nuance of the experience. Unfortunately, our hearts don’t heal nearly as quickly as our physical selves.
We have a tendency to hold our hurts close and cherish them for some reason. I suppose there is the childlike (or childish?) fascination with wanting to pick at the emotional scab to see if it still hurts after a time. If you don’t do that, how will you know whether you are healing or not. Unfortunately, every time you revisit the event that hurt you, it brings up the pain like it was yesterday – at least it did for me.
“True justice is paying only once for each mistake”
How often do we overlook the above aphorism as we repeatedly revisit past mistakes, injuries, and confrontations? There are times I lie sleepless and recall arguments I had with college sweethearts, high school teachers, and even the grade school bully. What do I get for my trouble? Sometimes I experience that all-too-familiar wave of panic, other times an uneasy stomach or a rapidly beating heart; that feeling is almost always accompanied by guilt, resentment, or both. The experience never benefits me and I’ve reached the point in my life where I need to stop it.