Leave the Judgment Behind

leave judgment behind

This past Sunday in Los Angeles, I spent a beautiful day with my Dad playing golf to celebrate his birthday. Although I was grateful to spend time with my Dad, the golf part was extremely frustrating. I hit a few great drives straight down the fairway, rolled a bunch of golf balls about twenty yards in front of the tee, and managed to successfully lose a lot of balls in the rough. Overall, I enjoyed very inconsistent results. Since I only play once every three to four months is it even realistic to expect better results? The obvious answer is no but most of us do and then we are disappointed and make a false conclusion that “golf is not our game.”

Although I played tennis competitively in college and on the professional tour, golf continues to be a challenging sport for me (and many). Here’s the thing: I never practice golf and don’t make it a priority in my life. SO the obvious question is why expect anything other than inconsistent results?

The simple rule of thumb:

If you invest half-ass efforts you will enjoy half-assed results.

My time on the golf course is symbolic for things we’d like to happen but don’t invest the time. Eventually I’d like to be a better golfer, but it’s not a priority right now. What I do value is relationships, so I played golf because I knew it was a special way to connect with my Dad and I know how much he enjoys the game.

The words “playing golf” may represent something else in your life such as….looking for a new job, getting in shape, becoming a confident public speaker, or going to bed earlier.

These are things we talk or think about doing but don’t take any actions to improve. At the end of the year, people will assess different areas in their life including health, career, relationships, and finances to highlight a few. Some people want to lose weight, switch careers, or be in a relationship but don’t invest the time or make these goals a priority. So instead of being frustrated in areas that you haven’t focused on, pause and ask yourself a few key questions:

1. What’s truly important to you?

2. Are you willing to make it a priority?

3. Do the results you want align with the actions you are taking to get there?

4. If the answer is no to the question above, what can you do to improve your results?

Bottom Line: Invest time and energy in the areas of your life that are important to you and leave the judgment behind when you don’t focus elsewhere. Be honest rather than tough on yourself if you haven’t made an effort to improve.

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10 thoughts on “Leave the Judgment Behind”

  1. Hi everyone ,i really want to thank you ALISSA you are amazing,and you know everything in our lives needs effort ,we can’t accomplish anything without investing,i have a lot of gaols but they never come true yet,now i realize why,because i have never being honest with myself before i am always tough .from now on i will ask myself the questions you have mentioned every day,and i have an advice for everyone ((believe in all possibilities,the best is yet to come))i am sure everyone heard about it,but sometimes we need to remined each other

    1. Hi Sara, so wonderful to read your comments. Sometimes it’s a small shift in how we view the situation that lets it open up. And it’s wonderful to remind and support each other. Happy holidays! xo, Alissa

  2. Nice post. I think we tend judge ourselves as well as others based on categories, (e.g. golf, writing, skiing, work, etc.) We need to be willing to face the fact that we can’t shine in everything and let go of our false sense of superiority or inferiority. Just let go, have fun, and build relationships.

    1. Hi Dan, I love the point about building relationships, it’s so important and helps us feel so connected. I would say it a different way, it’s not that we can’t shine but more important, to focus and spend time on what’s important to us and then we can naturally shine. And then there’s no need to judge ourselves. Alissa

  3. FANTASTIC post! These are such important points on achieving your goals and prioritizing what’s important to you in life, and you stated them so well. The most amazing things I’ve achieved in life have been the result of putting in the most effort, and the most incredible relationships I’ve had have been when I invested the most time, energy, and heart into them.

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