At 20, I was 280lbs (20 stone/127kg). I was desperately lonely and hated looking at myself in the mirror – I knew I wasn’t the person looking back. I was regularly insulted by random strangers and didn’t have the confidence to do the things I really wanted to.
Between the ages of 20 and 21, I lost over 8 stone and then went on to lose more – in total, dropping half my body weight – 140lbs (10 stone/ 63kg).
And I’ve kept it off.
I’ve been on a massive journey with my food and body. Through a myriad of diets – including low-fat, low carb, vegetarian, vegan, raw vegan, anti-candida. I’ve juice feasted and fasted – I’ve even water fasted.
That journey has seen me learn what works and what doesn’t work for my body, and come face-to-face with my emotional issues around food.
I’m at a point now where I’m more at peace with the food on my plate than ever. And that’s quite something when I look back at how I used to be. Food is a drug, if that’s your addiction you’ll behave in astounding ways – I remember stealing from my Mum’s purse in order to go buy sweets; taking kg bars of chocolate up to my room and eating them in secret; tip-toeing to the cupboard where the crisps were in order that no-one would hear me take another packet.
Yet now I am able to give my body what it needs and loves every day and maintain a weight I am happy with without ‘restriction’. I even eat food such as cheese that I thought I’d never be able to touch again.
So eighteen years down the weight loss line here’s what I’ve learnt:
How to Lose Weight
1 – Have a BIG WHY
You must have a reason to lose weight, and it’s got to be a good one. The reason for this is simple – when you’re faced with your food nemesis – chocolate, Doritos, cheese…whatever yours is, you’ve got to have a really compelling reason for choosing not to eat.
You can see how this works with some simple examples: the grandfather who’s been told that if he doesn’t lose some weight he’ll not live to see his grandchildren growing up; the bride who has always dreamt of looking her most gorgeous on her wedding day. These are BIG WHYs – reasons to lose weight – and they give motivation.
If you think you don’t have one, you are thinking too small. There is a bigger purpose for your life than the one you are living right now and if you can tap into that you will have the motivation to be able to change the things that you don’t like right now.
What are your dreams? What have you always longed to do? If you know you could be and do SO much more – what is it that’s inside you waiting to come out?
If you feel you need some help exploring your passions and getting clarity on your path, your BIG WHY, have a listen to my free Unleash Your Passions, Find Your Path audio training.
2 – Change your habits
We live habitually. The routines, familiarities and rituals that fill our days rule the roost. If you’ve got into habits that don’t serve you around food, when you first start your weight loss journey you’ll need to consciously make an effort to change them.
To begin with, this often requires BIG action in the opposite direction of your habits.
Are you used to eating dessert in the evening? Straight after your dinner, go out for a walk.
Do you like to have that packet of M and M’s to help you through the afternoon at work? At the weekend make up a batch of healthy muffins and take one in with you every day.
Is your after-work treat a glass of wine? Sign up for a dance class instead.
Do you not notice how much you eat in the evening as you are sitting in front of the TV? Lay a place at the dining table and make a ceremony out of your meal.
The initial pain for breaking these habits can be hard. That’s why you’ve got to have a BIG WHY.
Once you are over the hump though, it gets much easier. Trust me, I’ve been through this process and seen it is action in the lives of my clients many times. New habits replace old ones and piece by piece the world we know changes.
3 – Find what works for you
Don’t grab at diets and quick fix solutions. Real, lasting change takes time.
Bear these things in mind:
- Don’t undereat. When you don’t provide your body with enough calories to sustain itself it holds onto fat tightly as it doesn’t know whether it’ll need stores in the future.
- Be aware that food intolerances might be playing a part in your weight loss. Many people have wheat and diary intolerances and yet are sustaining themselves on a diet that is made up, to a large proportion of these foods. Food intolerances damaged our body meaning it cannot extract the nutrients it needs from even the good food we feed it – causing more craving. If you have IBS, feel sluggish, lack energy, or have any type of allergy it could be a food intolerance. Try taking suspect foods out of your diet for a week or two.
- If in doubt, go for fresh and simple. Unprocessed foods, minimally processed will provide you with optimal nutrients – giving your body what it needs.
- Get your metabolism up. If you have a low or sluggish metabolism it’ll be hard for your body to use the calories you are giving it.
- Have food you enjoy. If you make yourself miserable by denying yourself you’ll not be creating sustainable weight loss. Make sure you include foodstuffs you enjoy in your diet.
- Get involved with your food. There are SO many great healthy recipes online. Get creative in the kitchen.
4 – Find ways to get support/accountability
The more support you have as part of your weight loss journey the easier it will be. Make yourself accountable by writing a food journal online, joining up with a friend and checking in every day, getting a coach or joining a weight loss program.
How to Keep Weight Off
Weight cannot be kept off satisfactorily through discipline. We want to be able to relax and enjoy our lives, not be constantly on guard or pushing ourselves to hit the gym every night.
Here’s my insight on keeping weight off once you’ve lost it:
1 – Always maintain a bigger vision for yourself and your life
Make your life a conscious quest to improve yourself, to be and do more, to fulfil your potential and you won’t regain the weight. Just as you have to have a BIG WHY to lose the weight in the first place you must maintain and develop that vision after you’ve lost weight.
Sometimes, this can be hard.
It means thinking about what you really want, facing truths about yourself and being able to consciously take steps towards it.
What would that mean for you?
Perhaps it’s coming face-to-face with the fact that you don’t want to be in your job and must take brave steps to move out of it? Perhaps it’s leaving certain people behind? Perhaps it’s doing that thing that most scares you?
2 – Look at your emotional food baggage
Food is not just food. It means SO much more. We all have emotional baggage around food and the clearer you get on this, and the more consciously you hold it in front of you, the easier it will be for you to stay at the weight that’s right for you.
What did food symbolise when you were growing up?
What happened if you left food as a child?
When do you turn to food?
What do certain types of food mean to you?
Journalling or talking with a friend can help here.
Once you are clear on the emotions you carry about your food, stay conscious with them. You can do this by allowing a tiny pause before you reach out to eat, and in that moment, ask yourself, with kindness, ‘What do I really need here? How am I feeling? What needs attention in me?’
3 – Be yourself
Two words that are SO important to being at peace with your food.
Let me explain why.
If you are in a job you hate, after a bad day you are going to come home and, if ice-cream is the thing that makes you feel better, dive into a tub of ice-cream.
If you’re in a relationship that isn’t you, and food’s your drug of choice, when you feel lonely, unheard or unloved you are going to reach for the chocolate.
If you’ve got a passion that wants to be expressed that you’re not expressing, there’ll be an un-spoken-to part of you, and you’ll turn to food to comfort that.
The more true to yourself you can be, the less you’ll abuse food.
If you have something you want to say, find a way to say it. If you want to create, make time to do it. If you have work you want to bring into the world, start taking steps to do it.
4 – Be kind to yourself
Weight loss is not maintained through discipline. Lasting change evolves when we are kind to ourselves. Be patient, have compassion for yourself and your journey.
5 – Don’t obsess about food
Make your life about more than your food. Engage your passions, have fun, do something you love, express yourself. The more you do that the more food can take its rightful balanced place.
Photo by Nathan O’Niens