What Happened When I Decided to Commit to My Own Truth

own truth

“Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.” – Pema Chodron

I was ready. It was time. I wanted to live my truth.

I had spent so many years ignoring my true desires, and what was in my heart. Instead, I followed the expectations of others. My family, my partner and what I felt that society expected of me.

I had a career that was financially rewarding, but I didn’t enjoy it, and I socialized with a group of people that I didn’t feel emotionally connected to.

At the time, I felt that I got a lot in return. I felt safe, secure and a part of something. Even though, it wasn’t something that I particularly believed in, or that was a good fit for my soul. From the outside, it looked like the perfect life.

When I began to awaken to this discovery, I didn’t realize what was happening. Now, I can see I was discovering my own truth, but at the time, it just felt uncomfortable and lonely.

When I made the decision to commit to my truth completely, and live life according to my passion and purpose, I felt so much fear. All the time.

It was a long time coming, and stepping into the unknown wasn’t easy.

Deep within me, I knew that I if I didn’t listen and take the leap then, I might never take it. And, I knew the ‘perfect’ time just did not exist. I did not want to waste any more time.

While some people encouraged me, others did not. That made me more fearful. I hesitated.

I decided that even thought I didn’t know how it would turn out, and I couldn’t control the outcome, all I could do was take a leap.

I began to study to become a psychotherapist, and over time began working as a psychotherapist. My emotional self was thawing out, and I began to feel my emotions again. The good, the bad and the sad. I was healing.

During this time of transition, on the surface, my life looked the same, but I felt very different.

The way I was showing up in my life had completely changed. I had awakened to something deeply authentic in me. To my creativity, wisdom, spirit, joy and love.

I didn’t really know why I was feeling different, but I knew I wanted to keep it up. I was catching on to a new way of being that was better than the past.

I felt open to receiving my truth and all the love in the universe. I began to feel a deep sense of peace within me, and I knew everything would be ok. I trusted that. I would always show up for me.

I allowed myself to be supported during this process. Both by professionals, friends and loved ones.

Sometimes we have to struggle a long time before we awaken and listen to the truth within ourselves. I know that I did.

Everyone’s truth looks different. And you don’t have to struggle.

You may come to realize that your life no longer works for you. Your job, your relationship, your community, or a combination of these things may no longer feel right for you now.

If you’re honest, some things in your life probably haven’t felt right for a long time.

When will you commit to your truth daily, so that you are perfectly aligned with love, consciousness and joy?

When I stepped into the unknown, I felt anxious and scared. That is my truth.

And now I am free.

To create a flexible future, based on love and desire, rather than external forces.

What about you? Is it time to live what’s in your heart? Here are some considerations on the path:

1. Turn towards your difficult feelings, instead of turning away — notice when you want to distract yourself by comparing yourself to others, working too much, exercising, watching TV, socializing, or by telling yourself that you are not normal for following your new path.

2. Be patient – take as much time as you need — you’ve lived your life in a certain way for a long time, and it will take time to learn a new way of being. Don’t rush it.

3. Embrace chaos – (and there will be chaos) — you may feel out of control and directionless sometimes, and this is to be expected. Welcome chaos, and within the chaos, there will be change.

4. Feel in order to heal — be open to your experience, and all emotions are welcome. The way you feel at any time won’t last too long.

5. Allow yourself to receive – open to your vulnerability and allow yourself to be supported by loved ones and professionals — people who will listen without judgement, take time to understand your struggle and help you make sense of what’s happening for you.

I’ve learned so much during this journey towards truth. I now take time for myself every day. I’ve added breathing, yoga, meditation and mindfulness practices to my daily life. I’ve established a practice of being with my feelings and feeling compassion and love for myself. I see so much love and beauty in myself, and within others as well.

At any time, there are always new possibilities to explore. You will feel fear, and you can transcend it. When you turn towards yourself, you expand your experience of your life, start fresh and learn to live from the deepest place of love and joy inside of you.

Photo by Jenavieve

25 thoughts on “What Happened When I Decided to Commit to My Own Truth”

  1. Embrace chaos! Yes, indeed! Life is naturally chaotic, so the sooner you learn to ride the wave, the better your chances of getting where you want to go.

    Thanks, Kim!

  2. Hi Kim, unknown situations definitely has made me grow. During a transformation seminar I saw my own truth and it did set me free. I think everyone needs to see their own truth in order to live a happy life.

  3. Your post is so beautiful. I could feel your journey…a journey I have taken (or am taking) myself. Congratulations on your truth and on having the courage to live it. You’re amazing!

    Debbie Marshall

    1. I agree. I felt just like I was seeing you go through this. My teacher did this once. She worked for some big time bank as an accountant in NYC by the twin towers when they fell. Anyway, she was paid a lot of money, but she wasn’t happy with her job. So she went back to school and got a teachers degree.

  4. Hi Kim, thanks for the great post! I’ve spent my entire life following the expectations of others and society and it was a very dark time. I’d constantly have internal struggles because those expectations just didn’t resonate, but I was too afraid to break free and try otherwise. FEAR is so powerful. Until you lose it all and you have no choice but to face those demons. Turning towards my fears, instead of away, has been life-changing. It has opened up so many possibilities I could have never imagined and completely set me free to live out my true purpose. Thanks for the wonderful reminder today to keep at it and there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

  5. Great advice, Kim. The only thing I’d add is that we’ll face more than one truth in our lifetime. In my 20’s, I had some events scare the HELL out of me, but I overcame them and grew stronger. Those moments seem like a piece of cake now that I’m in my 40’s and have outgrown some things from the past. I’ve done this before, I know I can do it, but it can be frightening each time you walk through it. Thanks for the great post!

  6. Thank you for your honesty. So often, we read about people who have transformed their lives: they write about their epiphanies and how glorious it is on the other side. We don’t so often hear what you write about today–that the journey can be terrifying, uncertain, and chaotic. Thank you for illuminating this aspect of change.

  7. I am there,or here, now…. learning I can let go… I have been thru some horrendous things in my life….. why is following my hearts desire so terrifying??? Won’t know until I take the leap… this was very timely for me… am saving it so I can read it again and again….. I can do this…. I have to do this…. thanks you so much for letting me give myself permission to breath….

  8. Still working on my journey! I see things I want to change about my life. But I am taking care of family members! So I think of these things in the future! I work towards them every day! So I will be ready when I can break FREE!

  9. Kim,
    I will be reading your post again and again. There is so much uncertainty churning inside me as I am still adjusting to a life after retirement from the corporate world. Kept trying to sort out and take steps towards recovering. Your top 3 resonate with me. I keep getting internal shut outs when trying to examine the difficult feelings. I feel helpless with the impatience to reach the new goals I have set and the chaos sometimes overwhelm me to the point of physical lethargy. I am trying to find some strategies to manage the emotional confusion from the Chip Conley book, “Emotional Equations.” Your post presents the steps I can refer to as I try to work through the uncertainty/impatience/chaos. Thanks for the timely post.

  10. Hi, Kim:

    Being committed to your own truth is one of the toughest things that you can do in life. Thank goodness that it is as rewarding as it is tough. I have felt the chaos and fear that you describe. I also know the satisfaction that comes from living the life that I was meant to live.

    Finding a fellow sojourner feels good, Kim. I applaud your courage and am grateful for your leadership.

  11. Wonderful story Kim! Trusting in the process is essential; the process is bumping. And you are so spot on in taking time for yourself every single day. This was a major discovery for me this past year. Taking care of myself first so I can give my best self to others. Love it Kim!

  12. Kim,

    I so resonate with your wonderful post. It takes a lot of courage to face our fears and do what we know is right for us. Especially, as you say, when people that we trusted tell us not to take that step. But that yearning to feel the fullness of who we are causes pain unless it is satisfied. You are so right about making distractions for ourselves. I think that is how I dealt with the pain of not seeking my truth. I distracted myself so I wouldn’t feel the pain, and the chaos was so scary. Embracing chaos also takes courage, because you never know what is at the other end. I think we think that chaos always has this abyss at the end, and as you say, what really is there is change, beautiful wonderful change!

    Thanks You So Much for Sharing Your Vulnerability!

    1. Well understood and explained so properly.. Liked the language you ha e used to express your thought..

  13. Love your words, your journey, your wisdom, your courage. I’m a year into my discovery and am sitting in a space of wrapping my blanket of trust tightly around me. Scary – yes. Worth it – hell YES.

  14. Hi Kim

    Thank you , how true for it is really difficult to begin with yourself cause no one really wants to be a loser , but i must say thank you cause this is the only reality . The reality you need to commit to your own truth and take it one day at time but most importanatly learn to love and take care of yourself , for me this is the ticket i was searching for and really you have open a huge field to work on and stay focus

  15. Hello Kim

    nice article. it is really necessary to find out own truth if we really want to live not just exist.i will call me lucky that after many stuggles i finally found my truth. i am in the process of creating my truth now.
    i really liked your words formations and writing style. i felt so connected me with your situation.
    thank you so much for sharing it with us.

  16. A beautiful post Kim with feeling and honesty, the truth is hard to face sometimes but we have to go through the fear barrier sometimes to keep growing, otherwise we tend to stand still in life. Most of the time the reality of the fear is far less than the thought of the fear, I enjoyed your post, thank you.

  17. Loved the words,the whole explanation. It necessary that one should know about their fears at a particular time in life.Being committed to your own truth is one of the toughest things that you can do in life.
    Stay cool and live life the way you want Kim .Success will surely be yours.
    I love the style the way you wrote it and shared your experience.I felt the depth of your every word as if it is meant for me to get motivated.Stay blessed & happy.

  18. In my freshman year of high school we learn that even if your job has a good salary, money doesn’t matter. You should be happy in your career and be comfortable and happy in the environment.

  19. Your travel towards your true dreams some what same as mine.☺I had a long lost love for psychology , that was hidden under the expectation of family and friends . But now after many years finallying I am doing masters in psychology ☺you are absolutely right that true us should not be jailed .

  20. i loved it.. Im experiencing anxiety because of my job.. And cannot take it anymore.. BuT theres always the fear of change, of the unonown that is hunting me.. This article was really helpful .. Thank u a lot :)

  21. Love your post-Kim, life is all but a risk the more one ventures in, the higher the adrenaline. But without it. It loses its meaning.

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