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Developing Self-Confidence: Why Most People Approach It Completely Wrong

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I recently came to some new conclusions about developing self-confidence, namely finding the confidence to make changes in one’s life (such as living a more meaningful life). They’re a bit unconventional (actually, they’re the exact opposite of how most people will tell you to develop confidence). I’ll share my epiphany with you first, and then tell you about a recent experience that got me there:

Many people say: first, try to build your self-confidence by convincing yourself to feel good (e.g. dress well, seek positive affirmations, etc.; and then go try to change the world). But I realized that never worked. No matter how “confident” I felt, I could never feel confident to do what I wanted to do. I realized, then, that this approach was completely wrong.

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How to Build the Confidence Habit

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“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

We are all beset with doubts sometimes. Even the most self-assured and successful people can be unsure of themselves. Some people are clearly more confident than others, though. To what extent this is ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’ is unclear, though I suspect that ‘nurture’ has a lot to do with it. I’ve seen my own confidence wax and wane over the years, and external factors have certainly played a part. Some signs that you might be lacking somewhat in confidence are:

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10 Secrets for Instant Self-Confidence

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There are lots of ways to improve your self-confidence over the long-term – but sometimes you need an instant boost. You can’t walk into an important work meeting, (or a class at college or a room full of strangers at a party) whilst frantically re-reading a self-help manual, or making a last-minute phone call to your life-coach. So here are ten secrets to boosting your self-confidence in just a few seconds…

1. Smile

The one-second tip for when you’re feeling nervous and unconfident is simply to smile! You don’t just smile because you are happy and confident – you can smile to make yourself feel better. The act of smiling is so strongly associated with positive feelings that it’s almost impossible to feel bad while smiling.

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