Author: Steve Errey

Changes You Refuse To Accept

Twice in my life I’ve had unwanted, seismic change forced on me. The first was when I had a breakdown aged 30; a breakdown that left me without a clue who I was or where I was, and that unravelled my patterns of thought so fundamentally that I was unable to understand the simplest conversations.

The second was when I was diagnosed with M.E./CFS in 2008, a chronic, incurable illness that’s with me right now. They were changes of the worst kind; unwanted, unwelcome and, at first glance, unacceptable.

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A Story About Loneliness

I’m in my element when being a social butterfly.

Thinking back to the times that have been the most special, the most exhilarating and the most damn fun, they’re the times when I’ve been bouncing around a room full of good people, just doing what I do best. Laughter matters to me. Being silly matters to me. Being with good people matters to me. So how did it happen that I’m at a place in life where I spent Christmas Eve, New Year’s Eve, my Birthday (and a lot of other days to boot) alone for the last few years?

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How To Change Your Mind

Some people would rather hack off a limb than change their mind. Perhaps a slight exaggeration, but it doesn’t change the fact that changing your mind is one of the hardest things you can ever do.

Once you have a specific idea in your head – whether it’s an idea about who someone is, the way something should work, the way something happened or the way something shouldhappen – it becomes sticky. Your brain becomes attached to it and expects it to be there, just like you with that limb of yours. With a stubborn streak a mile-wide, I know this all too well.

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Be Better Where You Are

Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to get the hell out of small town life in England and move to North America. I’ve always felt like the USA is where I’m supposed to be, and I can’t tell you how many times my wings have been battered and bruised through beating at the bars of the cage I’ve imagined myself in.

The opportunities aren’t here. The people here aren’t my kind of people. The choices are limited here. All along I’ve seen going to the USA as the answer to the question of “What am I to be?”, and over the years I’ve looked at all kinds of ways to make the move, but short of taking a corporate job or marrying into a green card I’ve been kinda stuck.

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