3 Simple F-Words to Help You Create the Life You Want

life you want

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you’ve imagined.

– Henry Thoreau

I often recall that moment in my life when I packed a few suitcases, said goodbye to my parents and friends, and headed off to start a new life in new places.

It seemed I was spending all my time and effort doing things that brought me little satisfaction. I wanted to expand my horizons and live the life I wanted to live.

I drove the Alaska Highway, stood in awe at the beauty of The Grand Canyon, was jostled by the crowd in St Peter’s Square and shouted ‘ole’ at a bull fight in Madrid. I worked, lived and had fun in completely different environments from those that influenced the first part of my life.

Of course it’s obvious that such a decision isn’t right for everyone.

Suddenly packing up and becoming a world traveller may not be the kind of life that’s high on your list of priorities.

BUT . . . . . you’re feeling unsettled and a bit blah about your life.  Right?

You don’t want to make a huge change as I did, but you long for a life that is more fulfilling and rewarding. Is that right too?

Well, then, I have 3 F-words that just might be what you’re looking for.

You see, after arriving back from overseas, I still wanted life to be fulfilling and rewarding –  but without doing something extreme. 3 simple F-words worked for me.

FIND out what you really want in life.

FACE your fears and doubts.

FOCUS until you achieve the life you want.

But how can these same simple words work for you?

1. FIND out what you really want in life

Many people long to do something different with their life, but when you ask them to describe their ideal existence, they’re vague – they don’t really know precisely what they want.

Others are so caught up with the busyness of life that they never stop long enough to articulate their priorities. They waste energy doing unimportant jobs day after day, without really accomplishing anything. Years rush by leaving them with regrets for all the things they wanted to do but never got around to.

As Denis Watley reminds us,

The reason most people never reach their goals is that they don’t define them, or ever seriously consider them as believable or achievable. Winners can tell you where they are going, what they plan to do along the way, and who will be sharing the adventure with them.

To help you think about and examine your inner desires, I’ve developed the Reality of Now Challenge.

When looking to the future, particularly if you want things to be different from what they are now, you need to take a close look at the NOW.

Now is where you are at this very moment. Now is your springing off point to the life you want to live.

To take the challenge, consider the various areas of your life. You’ll find some of these down the left hand side of the Reality of Now Challenge Diagram below.

challenge diagramThink deeply and complete the challenge to the best of your ability, without rushing.

For each heading, and others you might add to the diagram, circle the number that rates how you feel about that area of your life right now. 1 is least satisfying or needing lots of improvement, while 7 means that this area is in top shape at the moment. (But 7 doesn’t mean perfection.)

The Challenge is designed to help you be very specific about what you want to improve or change, in order to create the life you want.

The Challenge requires you to think and analyze. It’ll help you map out where you want to go with your life.

If the Challenge exposes several areas with low scores that need a tweak or makeover, prioritize them. Make a note of your highest priority. You’ll work on that first.

2. FACE Your Fears and Doubts

Are you holding yourself back because you fear you might fail? Or because you doubt that you really can do or be anything different?

Consider these words from Flavia Weedn:

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.

So how can you face your fears and doubts?

Believe in yourself. It’s essential for success. Keep this truth in your mind at all times so you’re living with a mindset that’s open to receiving creative thoughts and ideas to propel you forward.

Be grateful for 5 things in your life, as you awake each morning. This puts you in a positive frame of mind for the day.

Being positive will help you deal with the fear of taking risks. You’ll be excited to venture outside your comfort zone.

Your positive attitude won’t allow you to accept excuses from yourself. If you’re telling yourself that you can’t afford to take the first step, make it happen by adjusting your finances. The energy wasted on excuses, doubts, fears and complaints can be channeled more creatively.

Strive for improvement rather than perfection. This will ensure your stress levels will be kept in check.

3. FOCUS Until You’ve Achieved Your Goal

Many people quit almost as soon as they start, because they expect too much too quickly.

To avoid the temptation to quit, rejoice in small successes you have along the way.

See failures and obstacles as opportunities to grow and blossom, rather than as things to fear. They can be vehicles of empowerment.

Follow the advice of Tony Robbins:

Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives.

With those words in mind, it’s time to focus on the goals you’ve established. You’ll need commitment and perseverance.

Commit your goals to paper. Use lots of detail. Be clear and definite.

Develop “to do” lists. Your goals should now move past the dream stage. They must be actionable, measureable and be attainable by daily steps.

Use your strengths to achieve those goals, so you are energized fully. You might even find yourself using your strengths in ways you have never thought possible.

Tweak your goals as you progress. You might find that what you pursue first isn’t exactly what you wanted, but it might lead you to a more beneficial approach. In this way, high stress levels can be avoided and your journey will be more enjoyable.

Change negative attitudes to positives. A negative viewpoint can prevent you from seeing a situation in a creative way.

Think, breathe and live your dream until you succeed.

Well, that’s it.  Now it’s over to you.

I’ve left you with 3 F-words to start you on your journey towards the life you want to live.

While the journey might not be easy, there’s no need to stress yourself out to the max.

Relaxation is crucial for maintaining good health and making progress. You’ll also benefit from spending  regular time in a quiet, outdoor setting for summarizing and evaluating.

Please leave a comment about your life’s journey. Are you living the life you really want to live? I’d love to hear from you.

life you want

Recommended Resources

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18 thoughts on “3 Simple F-Words to Help You Create the Life You Want”

    1. Hi Rose. Great to have your comment and to hear that my Challenge will come in handy as you assess your progress. Sending best wishes as you continue your life journey.

    1. Nora, thanks for taking time to respond. Focus certainly is the real challenge. I definitely agree, and I’m sure other readers have found that to be true too. When we do focus , however, the rewards are great, as Tony Robbins suggests. It’s worth the energy we have to put into working at it. Best wishes.

  1. Hi Jenna,

    Thanks for your insightful article. Establishing a clear vision of what we want, dispelling negative beliefs en route to attaining goals, and maintaining focus and drive are all prerequisites to transformation.

    I dare say that most of us are not living the lives we want, or fully functioning. For some, there’s always that one obstacle or two that seems to preclude happiness and gets in the way of taking steps towards positive change. Health issues, relationship woes, financial concerns, and a thousand other situations can easily thwart progress.

    But while there are always circumstances that can serve to immobilize us, it’s our perceptions of events and reactions that can either keep a dissatisfying status quo or lead to a favorable swing of the pendulum.

    It’s really those thousands of thoughts that we think per day that can keep us locked in the past and stymied in the present, feeling no hope for the future.

    Positive thinking, positive expectations, self-confidence, and high self-regard can all uplift emotions which ultimately encourages us to take meaningful action for a better tomorrow.

    1. Hi Andy. What a great comment! Many readers will benefit from your insightful comments. It’s great that you took the time to pass on your thoughts. Thanks. I agree with what you’ve said about our perceptions of events – and that has to include our attitude/reaction to those events too. Positive thinking is something that I practice – to change those negative thoughts that, as you say, keep us locked in the past. Once again, thanks Andy. Much food for thought in your comment.

      1. Hi Jenna,

        Thanks so much for your thoughtful response as well! Your article inspired me to reflect on my views regarding this all-important topic. :)

        It’s not easy to consistently think positively, especially when challenging situations arise. But a shift of mindset can make us more resilient and resourceful, and more likely to overcome problems and obstacles.

        We have to have faith in ourselves and faith in the universe that favorable outcomes will materialize.

        You’re providing the tools for folks to overhaul a defeatist, negative self-concept — the first step towards living a “satisfying and fulfilling life.”

    1. Jason, appreciate your comment. Writing posts takes a lot of thought, effort and time. When I receive a response like yours, I feel encouraged to continue writing. Many thanks, Jason. Keep following your goals.

  2. Jason, appreciate your comment. Writing posts takes a lot of thought, effort and time. When I receive a response like yours, I feel encouraged to continue writing. Many thanks, Jason. Keep following your goals.

  3. What a timely post! Thanks for sharing! Your travel experiences resonate with me. I just received an opportunity to travel around the world on a performing arts tour for 5 Months and it is a dream come true! The closer I get to the departure time, I start to second guess my decision to this because of all the uncertainties. Thank you for your encouragement through your post.

    1. Hi Charlene. Congratulations on being able to travel for 5 months. Wow! What a wonderful experience. You’ll take home with you many special memories that will last a lifetime. Yes, there are uncertainties to face. But if you can tour the world for 5 months you can do anything. Use my 3 F-words and live an amazing life. Thanks heaps for sending your comment.

  4. Hello Jenna!

    Thanks for putting in the time and effort to share this!

    I’m 19, but certain events in my life have forced me to define my dreams and priorities early. So I think I have a basic idea about what I want to do with my life. More or less. But it’s the second part that I struggle with. The self-doubt and the fear. I’m not sure if I will be able to achieve my dreams, and I’m afraid that that doubt may keep me from trying at all. I don’t know. I hope I can overcome this somehow. It will take time, right?

    Thanks again for sharing.

    Cheers!
    N. M.

    1. Lovely to hear from you Nelu. Yes, it takes time, small steps and persistence. Keep your eye on that goal. I just looked through The Change Blog and found this inspiring post that might help you as you move forward with your life. Stay positive. Start today doing what you want to do. You’ll look back in 12mths and feel proud of how far you’ve traveled and what you’ve achieved. At the end of her post, the writer says, “It’s ok to be a little afraid; it’s ok not to know what comes next. Just listen to your heart, listen to your intuition, because the only person who knows what’s best for you is YOU.” Here’s the link: https://possibilitychange.com/self-transformation/
      I wish you all the best.

  5. To be honest, the first step was the hardest to find out. :) It takes a lot of time to understand my wishes and feelings about my life. I hope one day I’ll get next step :)

    1. Hi Peter. Great to have your comment. I agree that the first step is not an easy one. One day, though, you’ll know what you want to achieve with your life. Also, as we mature and as our circumstances change, we have to update our goals for the future. It’s a lifelong process. Keep going and never give up. Best wishes.

  6. WOW. This is so wonderfully written. What you shared were simple yet profound. I’m quite depressed at this moment of my life. Thank God I chanced upon this article. Your words are just what I need to get back on track. Many thanks! God bless

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