How To Build Confidence In Your Appearance Through Self Acceptance

self acceptance

There is a tendency in much of the literature and information on self esteem and confidence building to overlook the importance – the necessity – of recognising how vital self acceptance is as a part of the process of addressing and overcoming negative self belief.

The relevance and importance of self acceptance in successful self esteem and confidence building is quite adequately encapsulated in the old saying “A house built on sand shall not stand”, meaning in this case that you’re far more likely to succeed in building a positive and lasting self belief and self image only after you’ve undergone a rigorously honest self appraisal of who and where you really are in life at the present time.

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Harnessing the Power of Fear

the power of fear

“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.” ~ Henry Miller

Fear can be so incredibly powerful. Have you noticed? It makes us doubt our gifts, squash our creativity, and leave our dreams unfulfilled. If you ask me, that’s no way to live.

I have been studying fear for years, and here is what I have learned. You can’t beat it, overcome it, ignore it, suppress it, or deny it. Push fear away or pretend it doesn’t exist, and all you get is more of the familiar effects of fear – limitation, confusion, and disappointment in yourself.

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How I Became a Singer

how i became a singer

Back in the days where I wrote my first songs, I hated my voice. I saw myself as a songwriter and guitarist but never a singer! I tried working together with a male singer for a short period in Scotland before moving to Germany. I had to record my voice with my song-arrangements, so as to give him an idea of the vocals I was looking for. It ended up as an embarrassingly thin, unconfident and out of tune sound to my ears. He told me I should stick to playing the guitar and I agreed promptly. Any singing career was seemingly buried for ever in that moment!

Once in Germany, I continued to write songs and embarked upon an endless search for the perfect singer. I heard many styles and levels of accomplishment along the way, from both female and male voices, but I was never satisfied. I knew what I wanted – a clear, highish pop voice – but nothing fitted the bill entirely and sometimes there was a chemistry problem.

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Choosing Confidence

choosing confidence

So often we (or at least those of us who struggle with confidence) tell ourselves that confidence is one of those intangible, inherent qualities. Either you have it, or you don’t. Some people seem to just ooze it. You know who I’m talking about. They walk into a room and you can just see the puddles of leftover confidence that’s just dripped off of them as they meandered gracefully from one person to the next. Little social butterflies with the presence of something so much larger and greater.

I’ve wanted to be that person for a long, long time. I’ve wished that I had the confidence to be the “life of the party” or, if not that, at the very least someone who didn’t shy away from the party altogether. People are attracted to confidence. I’ve always wanted to inspire that. But, here’s what I’ve learned over the years: we can choose to be confident.

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Facing Up to Your Fears

facing up to your fears

We usually feel fear when we get frustrated, when our self-esteem is threatened, or when we feel pressured to perform beyond our perceived capability. Unhealthy fear is debilitating; healthy fear is mobilizing. But no matter what kind of fear you experience, it requires your immediate attention, or you risk cowering behind your full potential for the rest of your life. Read on for some tips on facing up to your fears.

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Turning Shyness into a Strength


Does the thought of doing certain things hold you back, be it in social situations, work, public performances, or relationships? Like most things, a little shyness is normal and even helpful in small doses – it can be quite an endearing trait – but shyness can also be debilitating. But, as with many things, a little refocusing can turn things around. If shyness is more your enemy than your friend, here are some ideas on how to turn your shyness into a strength.

Sometimes, we may be ashamed of shyness – we might think it is a sign that something is wrong with us. Despite what culture dictates, being a little shy and a little self conscious is normal, natural, and nothing to be ashamed of. Start making shyness work for you by taking responsibility for yours.

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How to Unleash Your Confidence

unleash your confidence

A few weeks ago, I contacted Peter (the guy who runs this blog) about a book I’ve been writing for the last couple of months. It’s called Unleash Your Confidence and it deals with… (shock, horror!)… building confidence.

I thought Peter might like the book. And he did. In fact, he liked it so much, he asked me if I could write a guest post for you, sharing some of the material from the book.

At the end of this post, you’ll find a link to Unleash Your Confidence, in case you want to know more.

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How to Be Less Sensitive

less sensitive

I know, dumb title. If we’re sensitive, we’re sensitive. And it’s not a bad thing, to be sensitive, it’s what makes us compassionate toward others.

But, as a sensitive person, I know that it can get in the way sometimes – when I’m over-sensitive it can sour my day, cause problems in my relationships, or make me overreact to trivial stuff.

The good news is that there are ways to rein in our sensitivity so that it doesn’t get in our way:

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How to Build the Confidence Habit

build confidence habit

“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

We are all beset with doubts sometimes. Even the most self-assured and successful people can be unsure of themselves. Some people are clearly more confident than others, though. To what extent this is ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’ is unclear, though I suspect that ‘nurture’ has a lot to do with it. I’ve seen my own confidence wax and wane over the years, and external factors have certainly played a part. Some signs that you might be lacking somewhat in confidence are:

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7 Keys to Successful Public Speaking

successful public speaking

The year was 2001. I was asked to give a “toast” at my sister’s wedding; I reluctantly agreed to do so.

The wedding day came and the wedding ceremony seemed to go by in a flash. Before I knew it, I was the next person to speak. My arm pits began to sweat profusely. I felt a cold chill run down my spine. I began to think of the thousands of the things that could go wrong. My heart started to pump blood as if my life was in imminent danger. I thought: “Why am I so nervous!”

Have you ever felt this way? There was a time when I would literally “recoil” at the thought of speaking in front of an audience. I even had trouble saying my name in front of a small crowd. Now, however, after following the tips below, I have come to love speaking in public. I created this guide for people who “don’t” speak regularly, but who want to look “professional” when they are required to speak in public.

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