Mind & Emotions Archives - Page 22 of 25

Taking Fair Responsibility: It’s Not All Your Fault

Do you blame yourself for other people’s problems? Are you constantly apologizing for things which aren’t your fault, or your responsibility?

Some of us have a tendency to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. We worry about our partners, our friends and our children, trying to do everything in our power to ensure that they’re happy.

When something goes awry for someone close to us, we blame ourselves:

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What Are You Denying Yourself?

By Ali Luke / 21 Comments

Most of us aren’t shameless hedonists. Our approach to life isn’t to grab as much fun and excitement as possible, seeking thrills and highs. Instead, we take a look at the big picture, and we think about financial security, the people we love, the career path we want to follow, our health, and our long term goals.

Along the way, though, we can end up veering too far away from pleasure-seeking. We end up denying ourselves quite unnecessarily – and ultimately, we can feel empty and drained. There may even come a time when we wonder what the point of life is any more, or when we question whether we truly can ever be happy.

So what are you denying yourself? Is it one of these big three?

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How to Heal Anxiety

By Dan Stelter / 35 Comments

Anxiety is a condition, just like any other, that can wreak havoc on your life and leave you stressed, lonely, unemployed, and just generally all-around miserable. This is where I found myself when I was struggling with social anxiety disorder (SAD) and generalized anxiety disorder (GAD). However, again much like any other condition, it is something that can be treated successfully, and you can reach the opposite extreme where you have tons of wonderful friends, fulfilling employment, romantic success, and a general feeling of happiness and well-being.

So, how do you heal anxiety? Unfortunately, for many the solution is to visit the doctor and see which type of medication he prescribes. This is one possible step that you can take, but like any other condition, using a more comprehensive approach enhances the level of success you experience. If clichés make more sense to you, “you get out of it what you put into it.” Besides taking a few steps, there is an additional point to keep in mind: what works for one person may not work for another; it is up to you to build your own plan based on what experience teaches you.

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Don’t Think About It. Do These 5 Things Instead.

By Tara Mohr / 28 Comments

Most of us learned early in life that “thinking about it” is always a good idea. That is what reasonable, intelligent people do when they have a big decision in front of them, right? They think about it.

The truth is that quite often, when it comes to the big questions in our lives — Should I take the job? Should I start the business? Should I marry her? Should I relocate? — thinking gets us stuck.

By thinking, I don’t mean all neurological activity. I mean our everyday definition of thinking: the furrowed brow, fist at chin, solitary activity in which we muse on a subject, evaluate pros and cons, make internal arguments and then supposedly “figure it out.” This often leaves us more confused than when we started, further away from our own answers.

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7 Tips to Beat the Winter Work Blues

By Karl Staib / 13 Comments

When it’s cold we want to hibernate, stay tucked under the covers and just sleep. We know this happens every year, but every time winter sets in we get those blues that we can’t escape. It’s like Pepé Le Pew chasing after us.

I know what I’m talking about because my winter blues were my arch nemesis when I lived in Pennsylvania. My depressive state would kick in from any little thing, a somewhat negative comment from a co-worker or a rejection of an idea at work. I always walked a thin line that could break at any moment.

I was happy during the weekends because I had the freedom to stay underneath the covers and ignore the rest of the world, but as soon as Sunday night came around the work blues would start. The work week would begin and the negative thoughts would envelope me like Pepé Le Pew’s smell.

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How to Use Your Subconscious to Change Your Life

By Karl Staib / 294 Comments

“Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.” – Thomas Edison

Your subconscious loves to do work while your body performs other tasks that are easy. I can prove this very easily by asking you how many good ideas you have had while driving or in the shower. When you are relaxed yet slightly distracted, your mind is often at its best.

Using subconscious requests will…

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Knowledge Plus Action Minus Fear

By Hulbert Lee / 9 Comments

Anything in the world is possible. But there is always one thing that stops us from doing it: fear. This can be the fear of starting a new business, the fear of public speaking, or even just the fear of something unknown. Fear often happens when part of us tells us to go for it, and another part of us tell us to be careful of the consequences. Feeling the effects of these consequences can be enough to stop us from taking action all together. But one thing that cancels out all fear is having knowledge of what you’re going up against and then taking action.

For example, when I was younger, one thing that I was always afraid of was math. In middle school, I loved to being creative. I was a person who thought spontaneous and did things on the fly. I remember I got an A in English class for making a Hobbit board game out of Play-Doh – an experiment we did for our final project. But when high school came, it was time to be more serious, and the first serious math class I had was algebra. Although this may have been a very easy subject for many people at the time, I struggled in it.

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How to Build the Confidence Habit

By Mark Harrison / 30 Comments

“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” ~ Vincent Van Gogh

We are all beset with doubts sometimes. Even the most self-assured and successful people can be unsure of themselves. Some people are clearly more confident than others, though. To what extent this is ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’ is unclear, though I suspect that ‘nurture’ has a lot to do with it. I’ve seen my own confidence wax and wane over the years, and external factors have certainly played a part. Some signs that you might be lacking somewhat in confidence are:

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Using Hindsight As Your Foresight

By Armen Shirvanian / 11 Comments

The same failures you might look back on as your biggest mistakes are also your future mistakes if you don’t make a change. It isn’t enough to just notice past failures, because that is avoidance of working through them. It is foolish to talk like you were a different person two years ago, when it is likely that you are very similar to the person you were when you made some error. It isn’t appealing to accept this, but it has to be done if you want to find ways to prevent a similar occurrence.

Money Example

Let’s say you made a huge error years ago that indirectly ended up costing you a lot of money. This could be a valid example for many folks. If this were the case, you would get no benefit in telling everyone about your failure to hold on to the money, or about how you lost it. On the other hand, you need to see what it was about you that caused the large loss of money. Maybe it came down to you being too shy to challenge someone when they left your assets in a precarious situation, or you were too afraid to fire an employee when your business was failing, and so you lost even larger sums in the process. Regardless of the situation, you need to see where your weakness was.

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How to Change Your Focus and Be Happy Now

By Gail Brenner / 24 Comments

Don’t we all want to be happy? Then why aren’t we? Happiness is our true nature. It’s what remains in those precious moments when our persistent worries, self-defeating habits, and difficult emotions disappear. When we are happy, we are content, enthusiastic, and alive.

If happiness is our birthright, and at the core of our being, it is wise to ask: how can we reclaim what is so fundamentally true? True happiness takes an inner revolution, a radical change in how we view reality. When we question our assumptions about the world and no longer take our emotional reactions for granted, a new, fresh way of being takes their place. Do you want to be happy? Consider the following, and prepare for the inner revolution.

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7 Keys to Successful Public Speaking

By Mr. Self Development / 18 Comments

The year was 2001. I was asked to give a “toast” at my sister’s wedding; I reluctantly agreed to do so.

The wedding day came and the wedding ceremony seemed to go by in a flash. Before I knew it, I was the next person to speak. My arm pits began to sweat profusely. I felt a cold chill run down my spine. I began to think of the thousands of the things that could go wrong. My heart started to pump blood as if my life was in imminent danger. I thought: “Why am I so nervous!”

Have you ever felt this way? There was a time when I would literally “recoil” at the thought of speaking in front of an audience. I even had trouble saying my name in front of a small crowd. Now, however, after following the tips below, I have come to love speaking in public. I created this guide for people who “don’t” speak regularly, but who want to look “professional” when they are required to speak in public.

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