Personal Change

Let the World Change Your Life!

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let the world

It’s nearly impossible to know when you’ll be moved by something; when something will impact you in such a way that you feel inspired and driven to take on the world. It can happen when you least expect it—a movie, a news headline, the sudden death of a loved one—but when it does finally hit you, that spark inside has the power to do great things.

When I learned of the death of Natasha Richardson in 2009, I, too, had one of those impactful moments. I couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened to her, after skiing like so many people do each and every day. Thoughts about her family and last moments ran through my mind over again, and no matter what I tried to distract myself with, I couldn’t shake it. Finally, I stopped trying to. I embraced the tragedy that was knocking loudly at my door and decided to let it in and figure out what to do with it. From that point on, my life has changed forever.

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10 Critical Steps to Sustainable Life Change

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life change

As much as we say we want to change, to become better people, to improve ourselves, we often face change kicking and screaming. It’s one thing to envision yourself as slim, trim, and healthy, but quite another to put on your running shoes and break a sweat.

Even when we are highly motivated or inspired, change is hard. It is hard to initiate it, and it is hard when it’s thrust upon us. We are creatures of comfort, and every change (even small changes) requires some level of physical, mental, or psychological discomfort.

This threat of discomfort keeps us trapped in a cycle of desire and failure. We want to be better people, but we can’t manage to sustain the actions to get there. It takes a toll on our self-esteem. The more times we try and fail, the more like failures we feel. Then we lose hope of ever succeeding, so we stop trying.

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Get Connected and Change Your Life

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Have you ever had the experience of doing something better in a group than you would have by yourself? Have you ever wondered why you stick to a goal with more determination when you’ve announced it to a group of people or, better still, worked toward that goal with those who share your interest and commitment?

Human beings are social animals. We are driven to connect with others, moving beyond our first-tier relationships with members of our family. Most of us yearn for and seek social affiliations throughout our lives, and when we find or create opportunities that allow for meaningful connections, we often maximize our potential and have brighter, more successful outcomes.

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There’s No Magic System to Fix Your Life

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How often have you bought yet another book or audio program or product that promises to revolutionize your life?

How often have you taken a seminar or class or course that sounds like the solution to all your problems?

How often has it worked?

We’d all like a magic-bullet solution to our problems. Whether you’re trying to lose weight, make more money, or finally get organized, there’s no shame in wishing it was easy.

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Hold the Wheel and Drive

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hold the wheel

When I look back on 2011, I see both the most painful and the most illuminating year of my life. I can understand now that everything needed to happen the way it did for me to grow as a person, but I still hope never to relive anything like it.

The year began with me attempting to cope with the humiliation of my failed engagement. To make it worse it was a failed engagement that practically unfolded under the spotlight, stage right for all my friends, family, and coworkers to witness. Every day I had to face the people I respected and loved while trying not to show the pain in my eyes. But there was no chance of that. Sometimes I would even disguise my feelings so that I wouldn’t have to acknowledge them, being unreasonably jovial or enthusiastic about something meaningless in the still turbulent wake of recent events. But as much as I tried to believe I was ok, I was not.

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An Easy Step Toward Radical Transformation

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easy step

A few years ago, I was a highly paid professional who was, from all external appearances, successful. I’d gone to great schools, gotten a job in a good law firm, and a house in the right suburb.

On the outside, I was smiling. But on the inside, I was stressed and miserable.

There was just too much to do. It was endless. Nonstop. And I couldn’t cope. I couldn’t see how the path I was on could lead to anything more than more stress, and more misery.

And that’s when I discovered a tool that revolutionized my life.

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Six Ways to Make a Change in Your World

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change in your world

We want to have an impact. We want our lives to touch other people. We want our work to endure. We want the world to be a better place because of our presence in it.

But in the day-to-day rush of life, it’s easy to think that “changing the world” is an unachievable huge, even arrogant, goal.

In a world of seven billion people, we can feel very small.

Today, let’s shift the focus slightly. Instead of changing the world, let’s look at changing your world.

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Honesty Can Be A Change Machine

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honesty

This post is a mixture of several elements mentioned already on the blog: gratitude, the search for happiness, stress management – all of the psychological gremlins that seem to be perched on one shoulder or the other on a regular basis. I went through a life-changing experience at the age of 48 that centered on honesty: self-honesty, to be precise.

At 48 the wheels came off for me; I lost my job when the company changed hands and shortly thereafter my marriage imploded. This was a relationship that had been lifeless for years but when the specter of a permanent split hove into view I was terrified and scared to death. The couples therapy routinely became a place for target practice, but out of that and some other situations that I had to confront it became clear to me that I had very little knowledge of how I felt about things, how I treated people, and what might be the principal source of my fear.

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How Much Could a Simple Compromise Hurt?

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compromise

I had just gotten home from my rush hour commute through the 115 degree summer heat in Phoenix, Arizona. My car rolled across the the gravel in front of my rundown shack by the railroad tracks. I went in and turned on the ailing air conditioner and flipped on the TV to decompress from a soul-sucking day at a job that I hated.

I had no idea what to do for the rest of the day. I didn’t have any friends. I didn’t have any plans.

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10 Principles and 1 Practice that Can Change Your Life

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change your life

“To be what we are, and to become what we are capable of becoming, is the only end in life.” – Robert Louis Stevenson

It took me a long time to realize that I didn’t want to be a personal development coach. At first it seemed to be a perfect fit. I was obsessed with personal development as a topic, and I had a sincere desire to help people change their lives for the better. Over time, though, I realized that I didn’t have what it takes to be a coach – I didn’t have that drive and passion to help people achieve the goals they wanted to achieve (usually to lose weight or make more money). I had other goals in mind, but they weren’t the type of goals that people pay a coach to help them achieve. These were “character goals” – goals that are designed to help people become better individuals. So I gave up coaching and devoted myself to writing, hoping that my message would find a receptive audience.

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