How To Build Confidence In Your Appearance Through Self Acceptance

By / 13 Comments
self acceptance

There is a tendency in much of the literature and information on self esteem and confidence building to overlook the importance – the necessity – of recognising how vital self acceptance is as a part of the process of addressing and overcoming negative self belief.

The relevance and importance of self acceptance in successful self esteem and confidence building is quite adequately encapsulated in the old saying “A house built on sand shall not stand”, meaning in this case that you’re far more likely to succeed in building a positive and lasting self belief and self image only after you’ve undergone a rigorously honest self appraisal of who and where you really are in life at the present time.

How To Build Confidence In Your Appearance Through Self Acceptance Read More »

How to Make Decisions You Won’t Regret

By / 17 Comments
how to make decisions

One day, a simple invitation arrived in my inbox that provoked an internal crisis. The invitation was from the leader of a writer’s group I belonged to. She was trying to organize a get-together at a restaurant just to socialize and catch up, and she wanted to know who was interested in coming.

I immediately started panicking. Should I go, or not? There was one woman in the group who really irritated me, but on the other hand there were others whose company I really enjoyed. The restaurant was also a distance from home, and I didn’t know if I should commit to the trek, and if I did, whether I should leave from work or go home first. And if I went home first, I wondered if I should change my clothes—and if so, into what. After hours of deliberation, I was still stuck in the cognitive mud.

How to Make Decisions You Won’t Regret Read More »

Beneath Surface Appearances

By / 17 Comments
beneath surface appearances

We like to think we know our family and dearest friends, down to the deepest detail. Without telepathy, though, we can never truly know what it’s like to walk in their shoes.

Take one of my good friends, who gave birth to her son around the same time I had my daughter. We had eerily similar birth experiences: the first few hours of labor went okay, but the baby’s heartbeat began to drop so we had emergency C-sections. We hold the same values on parenting, so we exchange advice on breast feeding and sleep training. We both gave up full-time jobs to become full-time mothers. Our situations are so similar that I didn’t know how to respond when she asked me last week, “Why is being a mother so easy for you?”

Beneath Surface Appearances Read More »

How to Balance Short-Term and Long-Term Happiness

By / 18 Comments
balance happiness

Do you find it hard to resist chocolate cake, even though you’re on a diet? Do you end up buying new DVDs or video games, even though you’ve made a careful budget?

There’s nothing wrong with you – and you’re certainly not alone. Most of us find it really difficult to stick with our goals at times. And there’s an understandable reason why.

When you’re attempting change in your life, you often need to forsake some short-term pleasures for the sake of happiness over the longer-term.The various things that appeal to you in the moment – like eating chocolate, buying a DVD, hanging out on Facebook, watching TV – are all ones that will bring you some immediate gratification.

How to Balance Short-Term and Long-Term Happiness Read More »

Letting the Silver Sparkle

By / 19 Comments

I am letting the silver sparkle. Shimmery strands of light, dancing through a somewhat mousy head of hair. I am letting them grow, and I like them. But I have found that not everyone does.

One of my co-workers could barely contain her shock when she noticed it … “You need to get your hair done”, she thoughtfully pointed out. When I explained that I’d decided to let it grow in, she was amazed. “But why??” she demanded, peering at me beneath a thick mane of what can only be described as pomegranate-colored hair. “Me ? Never! I’m turning 49 this year, and I intend to fight it all the way!!” There was no point in arguing with her, but as we parted company, I too, wondered why … why do we feel we have to fight this wonderful privilege of growing into a beautiful time of our lives – a time of wisdom, and peace, and understanding?

Letting the Silver Sparkle Read More »

How to Keep From Becoming a Meditation Dropout

By / 9 Comments
meditation

I talk about meditation with nearly everyone I meet. It just comes up naturally when they ask me what I do. “I teach meditation,” I always respond. A common reply is, “I tried meditation.” “What happened?” I ask. “Oh, it was really good. Really helped me. But I lost it somewhere. I really should get back into it.”

Almost everybody knows that meditation is beneficial. Many have tried meditating. Even more have vague plans to meditate “some day.” So why do people fail at meditation?

How to Keep From Becoming a Meditation Dropout Read More »

Finding the Happiness That Lies Beyond “Good Enough”

By / 26 Comments
finding happiness

What if you could quit your job? Forget the annoyances, leave the frustrations behind and proudly announce to your boss: “I quit.” What if you could escape that relationship you’re so unhappy with? Or move out of that lousy living situation? What if you had the strength and the courage to get rid of everything that makes you unhappy and to shamelessly pursue your true happiness?

Not long ago, I had the kind of life that many people dream about. I was married, had a good job where I was steadily moving up the ranks, lived in a nice home and had plenty of money to do the things I wanted to do. In some ways, I had it all… except happiness. Happiness was something I’d lost along the way; something I’d forgotten about as I pursued the life I was supposed to live instead of the life I wanted to live.

Finding the Happiness That Lies Beyond “Good Enough” Read More »

The Free Resource That Can Help You Cope With Anything

By / 9 Comments
laugh

When I had my comic memoir published by an award-winning independent press in 2008, I thought it would be the pinnacle of my professional writing career. But after my publisher went bankrupt one year later, taking with him most of my dreams, that celebratory moment turned into one of despair.

Standing in our basement, looking at the five big crates of unsold books we were left with after the experience, my husband wondered aloud what we were going to do with them. I said to him: “We can always make a bonfire and toast marshmallows.” Suddenly, the tension seemed to lift.

The Free Resource That Can Help You Cope With Anything Read More »

How To Break Free Of Limiting Cultural Beliefs

By / 8 Comments
limiting cultural beliefs

“It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so.” – Mark Twain

Limiting cultural beliefs operate in much the same way to limiting personal beliefs. A lot has been written in the personal development and self help fields about overcoming perceptions in the mind that hold you back from achieving your goals.

How To Break Free Of Limiting Cultural Beliefs Read More »

Right Rejection and Happy Acceptance

By / 16 Comments
Buddha

Once upon a time, Buddha, with his monk disciples, stopped by a village. His intentions were to deliver sermons and spread the message of righteousness and liberation. Some of the villagers however did not receive him well. They called him an atheist, used abusive language and asked him to leave the village. Buddha, however, remained quiet and peaceful as ever. He did not respond to any of the verbal abuse. His face expression did not change.

His disciples could not bear their master being abused, they could not see him treated that way. They felt bad and hurt. Taking cue from their master, they chose to stay quiet however.

The disgruntled villagers left after a while. Peace ensued. Only Buddha and his disciples were left there.

Right Rejection and Happy Acceptance Read More »