Personal Growth & Transformation

Are You Trying to Live Up to Other People’s Values?

eating disorder

Do you often feel guilty about things that you aren’t doing – or things that you are doing? Do you find yourself saying “I really should…” or “I know I’m supposed to…” or “I must…”? Are you trying to live up to someone else’s values?

There are so many pressures on us to conform. You might think that you have your own priorities straight (and that you’re failing to meet your own standards), but chances are, you’re being influenced by a lot of external pressures. These could come from:

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How to Stop Procrastinating & Start Writing That Book Inside You

writing a book

Whenever I tell a new person I’ve met that I’ve recently had a memoir published, the response is, invariably, “You wouldn’t believe my story. I should write a book, too.” And my response to them is, invariably, “Then, why don’t you?”

The gap between having the desire to write a book and actually sitting down to write one is quite large, but with some effort, it can be bridged.

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When the Wheels Come Off

VW Camper Van

I grew up in the 70’s and 80’s when parents still told their kids to go outside and play. My friends and I would spend all day in the yard and when we got hot and sweaty enough we’d run to the back patio, open the water spigot on the side of the house and get down on our hands and knees so we could get low enough to turn our mouths up for a drink of water that splashed all over our faces and down our necks. In the evenings I remember seeing my parents shaking their heads as they watched the oil crises in the 1970’s unfold on the nightly news. Gas prices skyrocketed to 73 cents a gallon! “Turn it off,” my mother would say to my dad. “Good grief! The wheel’s are coming off but they make it sound like the world’s ending.”

Like me, as a child you probably hoped for a life that would exceed your dreams but as those dreams collapsed along the way you’ve simply wished for a soft wing of hope but instead have gotten life in a culture of ungrace. That’s not a word but it should be. If you don’t know what ungrace is just listen to most people who didn’t vote for any sitting president, watch how fast Hollywood turns on a star who no longer sells at the box office or turn on the news anytime during the day. Ungrace pulsates in our workplaces, communities, and in the media and tells us that regardless of what has happened we must do better, look better, and make ourselves better. But to love and accept someone regardless of their flaws and failures is a breath of hope in a world that turns more upside down than right side up. That is the gift of grace. It’s being dirty and smelly and turning your face up under the spigot. Sometimes the wheels need to come off and you need to get pretty low before you appreciate grace.

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Free Personal Development Ebooks

personal development ebooks

If you are in search of need inspiration, but are on a limited budget (namely $0), this post is for you. Recently I have been roaming the personal development blogosphere is search of free personal development ebooks; the following list is the result of my efforts.

Please note: many of these ebooks require you to subscribe to regular updates or a newsletter to receive the ebook (you can always unsubscribe, right?). If you offer a free personal development ebook that is not on this list please contact me and I’ll add it.

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50 Things To Be Thankful For

thankful

One of the most popular online videos last week was a very funny interview Conan O’Brien did the comedian Louis CK. Louis makes the observation that although we have so many amazing things these days (eg high speed internet access on airplanes), people still don’t seem to be happy. If you haven’t seen it already, I recommend you watch Everything’s Amazing, Nobody’s Happy (sorry, YouTube won’t let me embed the video into this post).

This video reminded me that it is very easy to take many wonderful things in our lives for granted. If we can only learn to look at life a little differently, it is possible to find an abundance of things to be thankful for.

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3 Keys To Developing Inner Productivity

inner productivity

Looking at the number of books and articles on organization and time management available today, one would think the market for productivity strategies was close to saturation, and the demand for more would be dropping. But this doesn’t seem to be true. Instead, it seems like a new book, article, or seminar on productivity comes out every day.

Why are people still hungry for productivity advice, even with so many techniques on the market? I suspect one reason is that the existing literature doesn’t address one of the biggest obstacles to our productivity — the patterns of thinking and feeling that limit our ability to get things done.

Here’s a common example. As I’ll bet you know firsthand, it’s hard to get much done when our awareness keeps drifting into the past or the possible future — replaying arguments we had with a loved one, worrying about how much the bonus in our jobs is going to be this year, and so on. The “tips and tricks” productivity gurus offer us — more efficient ways to organize our e-mail inboxes, make to-do lists, hold shorter meetings, and so forth — can be useful, but they won’t do much to help us get more done if we can’t focus our attention.

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How to Survive and Thrive When A Snow Day Arrives

snow day

There are days that arrive — some anticipated and others landing with an unexpected shock—that can stop us from even walking out our front door. Whether it’s the literal Winter outside our homes or a metaphoric one in our souls, relationships or circumstances, we all have ice storms and snow days that play havoc with our lives.

In the ancient of days, before the weather channel, snow and ice would get to sneak into town more often. You’d wake without warning to a landscape to enchant you, possibly being the answer to a fervent grade school prayer, or to ruin your day, depending on where you needed or wanted to be.

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The Power of Monomaniacal Obsession

obsession

If you really want to see the kind of success that others can only dream of then there actually is a surefire way to achieve it. The evidence of this methodology abounds but most people don’t recognize its inherent power because it seems unreasonable and way too hard.

The method is to narrow your focus as much as you can so that you are only shooting for one major goal.

And one means one – not three or four or even two.

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How to Achieve Any Goal

achieve your goals

We’re quickly heading into that brief window of time each year when far more people will casually discuss their goals with others: New Years. People at work who seem loath to accomplish much for eleven months of the year, will suddenly start talking about self development goals like seasoned veterans! And yet, the cliche is how short-lived such “resolutions” tend to be. Those who don’t proudly announce their new-found discipline will instead proclaim their defeatist cynicism: “I quit making New Year’s resolutions years ago when I realized I couldn’t keep them for more than a few weeks.”

So why are New Year’s resolutions so commonly broken? Is it that the necessary enthusiasm and intent isn’t really there? Sometimes. But I think it happens just as often that while we’re setting the types of goals that an experienced veteran may hesitate to declare, we proceed to implement them like real life rookies. This year, why not try to set and achieve goals from the seat of experience, paying particular attention to the types of obstacles that need to be avoided, and with a plan for surmounting the obstacles we can’t.

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Watch Where You Point That Finger

There is a saying that when you point a finger in blame at another person, you have three fingers pointing back at yourself.

The recent hoopla surrounding the bailout of the Detroit Big Three reminded me of this saying. It is obvious that the bailout is hugely unpopular, and there is understandably a lot of anger being directed at the management of these car companies for the many, many poor decisions they have made over the years that have contributed to their current state. But are they solely to blame? I think not.

The sad truth is that the car companies have been producing big stupid gas guzzling super-trucks for a good reason – people have been buying them! And the reason people have been able to afford these gas guzzlers is because of the low taxes on gasoline in the US compared to the rest of the world. Why are taxes so low? Because there would be an uproar if politicians tried to increase them!

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The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Kids

gift

Obama’s kids aren’t impressed by his work.

Back in April, Obama candidly admitted on the Rachel Ray Show that his job doesn’t exactly fill his kids with excitement. “When I call them and they say, ‘Daddy, what did you do today?’ I said, ‘Well, I spoke to 35,000 people.’ It’s like ‘Boring.’ It’s not interesting,” The focus of Obama’s interview was the importance of finding time to spend time with your family, even if you happen to be running for President of the United States of America.

In the past it was thought that being a “good parent” meant spending more time away from your kids – coming to work early and leaving late, schmoozing your way up the corporate ladder after hours, volunteering for extra projects and business trips, etc. But over time, parents and parenting experts have come to realize that it’s not how much you give your kid that’s important – it’s how much time you give them.

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