Some days, lessons come from the most unexpected sources. And usually, these kinds of “eye-opening” experiences are the most transformative.
Such was the experience one day – some 25 years ago.
A Blind Man Taught Me To See Read More »
Ever since I can remember I’ve wanted to get the hell out of small town life in England and move to North America. I’ve always felt like the USA is where I’m supposed to be, and I can’t tell you how many times my wings have been battered and bruised through beating at the bars of the cage I’ve imagined myself in.
The opportunities aren’t here. The people here aren’t my kind of people. The choices are limited here. All along I’ve seen going to the USA as the answer to the question of “What am I to be?”, and over the years I’ve looked at all kinds of ways to make the move, but short of taking a corporate job or marrying into a green card I’ve been kinda stuck.
Be Better Where You Are Read More »
Let me be the first to say that I believe heart and soul in the power of perseverance. I busted my tail through several college degrees, always studying hard to get the most out of the experience. I worked for a start-up company where long hours and imminent deadlines were the norm. I powered through those days, learning a ton in the process. Now with a 1-year-old child, I’ve had all the stereotypical experiences that define new motherhood: sleepless nights and constant worry. These experiences have helped define me and I would not trade them for the world.
That being said, they are not the only things that have defined me.
Life Doesn’t Have to Be a Struggle Read More »
Does it ever feel like you’re being swept along by life, powerless to implement any positive changes?
We often use phrases like “oh, that’s just life” or “life isn’t fair” – and while these can sometimes help us accept daily ups and downs, they also give the impression that life isn’t really under our control.
The truth is that you probably have more control (and at least more influence) than you think.
You Are in Control of Your Life Read More »
I always thought happy people were fakers. Growing up with clinical depression and obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), I never knew what it was like to be happy for more than a few moments at a time. I was so used to struggling that I couldn’t imagine a life in which every day was easy. I couldn’t grasp the idea that other people’s happiness could be real. Or maybe I just didn’t want to.
Because I didn’t want to burden other people with my depression, I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I tried to act normal. I tried to be like everyone else. I drank heavily and took diet pills to make myself more attractive so that people would concentrate on my outsides (heaven forbid they find out how much was actually wrong with me). I felt trapped by my disorders, by everything I thought was wrong with me. It got to the point of holding so much in, I didn’t think I could handle it anymore.
In 2005, I tried to kill myself.
From Depression to Happiness: The 4 Steps That Helped to Change My Life Read More »
The other morning I hit a major setback on something big that I’ve been working on. When I learned about it my immediate impulse was to panic. That was followed by anxiety, and it wasn’t long before I found myself in somewhat of a frenzy.
Fortunately the day ended and eventually I fell asleep. When I woke up the next day I realized just how useless all of that had been. I knew that in order to pick myself up and move forward I had to maintain my composure in the face of adversity.
How to Maintain Composure in the Face of Adversity Read More »
No one likes criticism, and why should we? By its very nature, criticism means that something is missing, that you have flaws, that someone has found you lacking. Even constructive criticism, given with every intent to help you rather than harm you, can plant seeds of doubt in your head. What if I can’t get better? What if I’m just not good enough?
Unfortunately, if you never receive criticism, you put yourself in the dangerous position of never improving. That’s fine if you’re the definitive expert at what you do, but for most of us, we’re working hard to get better at something every day. It would be great if we could criticize ourselves, but it generally takes an objective person to give us solid tips to improve.
How to Handle Criticism Read More »
It’s far from unusual for any college student about to graduate to be a bit apprehensive about what their future holds. Questions of whether they’ll be able to find a job, be able to compete with those seeking similar positions, and be able to sustain themselves in the “real world” all start to creep up when the reality of graduation starts sink in. It didn’t particularly help in my case that I was graduating in 2009 with one of the worst outlooks for finding jobs among graduates on top of the fact that I was getting my degree in, of all things, music.
I never thought I’d have these feelings of apprehension though. After all, I grew up knowing exactly what I wanted to do: Be a rockstar. The idea of having an ordinary job and simply “making a living” to “get by” used to make me sick to my stomach, that is at least until I graduated high school and realized that it’s a nice thing to be able to pay my own rent.
So naturally I did what any reasonable person would do, I compromised.
How Do You Play the Game? Read More »
We recognize that change can be good for us. It’s obvious that quitting smoking, losing weight or developing the running habit will improve our life’s.
Yet we fail at change over and over again. Why? One reason is you’re doing it wrong. You’re practicing the deadly sins of change.
But another reason runs deeper. You’re afraid to change. You procrastinate because deep down, you’re scared to take the plunge, even if it leads to a better life.
5 Reasons You’re Afraid of Change Read More »
I recently came to some new conclusions about developing self-confidence, namely finding the confidence to make changes in one’s life (such as living a more meaningful life). They’re a bit unconventional (actually, they’re the exact opposite of how most people will tell you to develop confidence). I’ll share my epiphany with you first, and then tell you about a recent experience that got me there:
Many people say: first, try to build your self-confidence by convincing yourself to feel good (e.g. dress well, seek positive affirmations, etc.; and then go try to change the world). But I realized that never worked. No matter how “confident” I felt, I could never feel confident to do what I wanted to do. I realized, then, that this approach was completely wrong.
Developing Self-Confidence: Why Most People Approach It Completely Wrong Read More »
That other driver shouldn’t have cut you off! Your teenager should have cut the lawn or you should have made the cut for the soccer team when you were fifteen.
Your mind doesn’t care what day it is or even what year it is. It dredges stuff up from the past or worries about the future. It has little respect for your emotions and will often provide just the wrong thought at just the wrong time.
It will demand that eclair right after you started dieting or day dream about someone other than your spouse distracting you from the fact that today is your anniversary.
Dance Your Way to Happiness and Success Read More »
