How to Stay Open to Life, Even When You’re Afraid of Getting Hurt

afraid of getting hurt

I have a dog, and walking is something I love to do. When I do, I feel at peace with nature. For the past three months, I’ve been travelling alone in France and northern Italy. Every day I like to go off exploring. Where I am currently staying, there are acres upon acres of forest and beautiful little walks along the pilgrim’s path that weaves its way through the region.

As I have gone along my journey I have become more confident on my walks and have felt braver to explore further afield. My fears have abated. At the beginning, I was afraid of getting lost, which I have faced by getting lost twice. Both times, I was OK.

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Overcoming the Fear of Giving Presentations

fear

I had been recommended for promotion in my job in IT. I had a great track record, enviable feedback from peers and customers and had attained all the technical achievements that were required to move up the ladder and gain a substantial increase in pay and recognition. So what was stopping me? In order to gain that promotion, I would have to present my case before a board of executives, but the very idea made me feel physically ill.

I had struggled for years with panic and anxiety, and as soon as I pictured myself in front of those people, I could feel all the old symptoms rising up: the sweaty palms, the racing heart, the dry mouth. Over the years I had found ways to cope with most of the anxieties that affected me on a day-to-day basis, but public speaking was still unthinkable to me. It was something I was going to have to face if I wanted to get on in my career, but I knew that I was going to need help to get over this major hurdle.

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How to Transform Depression Into Awe

depression to awe

Years ago, I was bedridden with a bad case of depression. I could hardly move, as though moving would quicken the death I was certain would come. Yet death would have been welcomed considering the dark space I was in, if not for my fears that everything I was feeling at that moment would be intensified before death would embrace me into nothingness. The paradox I faced was that I was in so much pain that I was hoping to die, but in order for death to come I’d have to be in still greater pain.

All very morose, to be sure. But every day, millions of people go through the very same thoughts I went through that day. Stuck between the fear of existing and the fear of dying, many people are confined to a dull existence consisting of only passing the time. Even without physical death, they are dying on a spiritual level – struggling to control, fix and manage the scarcity they perceive in life, in a race against time, believing that if they didn’t succeed they’d be diminished to a tiny speck of insignificant, inconsequential thing.

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How to Start Juicing and Reclaim Your Health

start juicing

For the last seven years I have devoted all of my time and energy to reclaiming my health after totally losing it to Lyme Disease: a systemic bacterial infection contracted from the bite of a poppy-seed sized tick.

Seven years ago I was a workaholic PhD student, who spent all of her time at the gym, training for the Chicago marathon. I ate cake for dinner or whole French baguettes slathered with peanut butter and butter (yes…a double butter whammy), and I drank copious cups of coffee. I loved my sugary, frantic, social butterfly existence. I had absolutely nothing to worry about. My life was galloping along, and I was embracing every minute of it. And then, like a buff of smoke, my health disappeared. And, my entire life changed.

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Stop Chasing Money and Start Chasing Richness

richness

It took me a long time to realize money would never make me happy.

A trip around the world finally drilled this truth into my brain, and it has dramatically changed my life. I spent my early years on a high-achievement track. I’d always been a go-getter: earning good grades in school, graduating at the top of my class, and moving rapidly up the career ladder. After my wife and I graduated from Harvard, I thought we had it made.

I found a high-powered job. I worked for a major consulting firm, flying around the world to solve tough problems with top executives. Still, something was missing.

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A History Of: Recovery Through Writing

recovery through writing

Some of my first memories of my mother include her being sad, in some capacity. That is a very sad thing to say, I realize this now. Likely, on some level, I realized it then too. Growing up, I couldn’t understand her sadness, couldn’t access the dark places she must have dwelled. As far as I knew, I came from a family of sound minded people who scoffed at the idea of therapy in any form.

And then, at the home of my grandfather, my mother (by this point, an alcoholic) revealed to me that my great grandmother, a woman I’d never met, had committed suicide when she was a fairly young woman, around thirty. She left behind a few children, and a legacy of secrecy. My mother’s depression had happened around the time that she was thirty and as I grew closer to that age myself, I realized that my feelings of sadness were more than that. They told of a history of women and mental illness and social stigma. They told a story about the ways mental illness can destroy most of the women in a family before they even realize it.

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How I Lost and Found Myself in a 216 Mile Relay Race

found myself

When I signed up for the Cascade Lakes Relay (a 216.6 mile race through central Oregon’s high desert) I was thrilled at the opportunity to experience the outdoors through an activity that I love. On the road I took in the picturesque landscapes, the expanse of trees, the crisp air, and the comfort of knowing that the noise and distractions of Portland were miles away.

At times throughout the course, CLR seems like any other race. As people run their legs, their teammates pass them and cheer from support vans, and I felt like I was part of a magnificent event. But when my own support van passed me in the middle of my legs, I was caught off guard by the unexpected solitude.

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5 Mistakes You Must Avoid When Following Your Passion

following your passion

In 2006, I had a vague feeling of unease. I felt like something was missing, but I didn’t know what. I was playing poker professionally and making a good living, but I yearned for more. More fulfillment. More excitement. More purpose. More joy.

It’s been over half a decade since, and today I’m making a living doing what I love. I’m absolutely in love with the work I do and my life. But the journey there was filled with stumbling into pitfalls and getting shoved back by walls. That’s why this article is all about the mistakes I made during my path.

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Running to Save My Life

running

I ran my first kilometre when I was in Grade five. I hated it.

I was in Mr. Pawlak’s class that year. Mr Pawlak was the resident health nut at our school. He wore gym clothes when he taught us Math. It was 1981, right before the huge Adidas bag craze that hit in grade six in 1982. He wore Adidas short shorts – the ones with the white stripes down the sides – and he paired them with a tight striped polo t-shirt.

He created something he called the Health Hustle for gym class, which was essentially low impact aerobics set to music. Personally, I blamed this new daily physical torture on Olivia Newton John’s “Physical” album. Fitness – and 1980s workout wear – were all the rage back then and Mr. Pawlak wanted to make sure we were fit. I was a skinny kid when I was 11, but I wasn’t fit. Seriously, whenever I heard “Bad, Bad Leroy Brown” or the instrumental “Popcorn” songs outside the four walls of our school gym, I would start to sweat involuntarily and breathe heavily like a Pavlov dog.

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Coming Out of the Closet: How I Guided People Through My BIG Change

jeffery straker

I grew up in a small rural town on the prairies of Canada – the town had about 300 people in it. I knew I was ‘different’ while in school but I didn’t actually know I was gay until university. I did my 3rd year of studies over in the UK and that’s when it all started to make sense. When you’re in a different country, all of a sudden you inherit the ability to re-invent and it was magical.

Back in Canada and all done university, I had moved to Toronto for a job I had at the time and was traveling back to the prairies to visit family from time to time. I had come out of the closet in my Toronto life but hadn’t really told anyone back at home on the prairies – it was easy not to, as they were so far away. I had experienced the art of telling people I was gay in Toronto but there was something about telling your parents and closest childhood friends that was a bit terrifying, I have to admit.

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How Your Excuses Are Holding You Back

excuses

I was a junky kind of person for a long time. I was also unhappy with my lot in life, unfulfilled in my romantic relationship, and out of shape. My home was as cluttered and dusty on the outside as I felt on the inside.

These things are not necessarily true for all cluttered people, but there was a definite link for me. My grandmother was a hoarder and a very unhappy and unhealthy woman, and I wondered if it could be genetic. It wasn’t until she told me I reminded her so much of herself as a young woman that I was scared straight.

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