Stories

How Do You Play the Game?

It’s far from unusual for any college student about to graduate to be a bit apprehensive about what their future holds. Questions of whether they’ll be able to find a job, be able to compete with those seeking similar positions, and be able to sustain themselves in the “real world” all start to creep up when the reality of graduation starts sink in. It didn’t particularly help in my case that I was graduating in 2009 with one of the worst outlooks for finding jobs among graduates on top of the fact that I was getting my degree in, of all things, music.

I never thought I’d have these feelings of apprehension though. After all, I grew up knowing exactly what I wanted to do: Be a rockstar. The idea of having an ordinary job and simply “making a living” to “get by” used to make me sick to my stomach, that is at least until I graduated high school and realized that it’s a nice thing to be able to pay my own rent.

So naturally I did what any reasonable person would do, I compromised.

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Always and Never: Why Setting Firm Limits Can Change Your Life

By Ali Luke / 15 Comments

Are you struggling to make changes in your life?

Perhaps you always start off with good intentions – but slowly, old habits creep back in. You promise yourself that this week, you’re going to eat healthily – and you do fine on Monday. But on Tuesday, your boss buys donuts for the office, and then on Wednesday, it’s a friend’s birthday party and you just can’t resist that chocolate cake…

If your attempts at change seem to get constantly derailed, then you might want to consider setting some clear, non-negotiable rules.

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Does Your Inside Match Your Outside?

By Jennifer Kellish / 18 Comments

For many years I put on a great show for the people in my life. Who I was at the moment depended on who was in front of me at that time. I was a chameleon.

To be honest with you, there wasn’t much that I liked about myself. So I was certain that if you knew the “real me”, you wouldn’t like me either. My need for acceptance and love would kick in and I became whoever you needed me to be. Actually, whoever I thought you’d like.

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5 Reasons You’re Afraid of Change

By Jake O’Callahan / 24 Comments

We recognize that change can be good for us. It’s obvious that quitting smoking, losing weight or developing the running habit will improve our life’s.

Yet we fail at change over and over again. Why? One reason is you’re doing it wrong. You’re practicing the deadly sins of change.

But another reason runs deeper. You’re afraid to change. You procrastinate because deep down, you’re scared to take the plunge, even if it leads to a better life.

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5 Ways to Be Present This Summer

By Dani DiPirro / 5 Comments

It seems to be this way every year—one morning I wake up and it’s suddenly summer. Everything seems once again alive and moving. I’m relieved for the sunshine and the cleansing rain of an afternoon thunderstorm.

As I was walking my dog this morning it occurred to me that, as much as I think I’m enjoying the summer, I haven’t really been taking advantage of it the way I should be. I haven’t been embracing the moment. I still find myself inside participating in activities much more suited to the winter months—watching movies, baking, spending hours on the computer. It’s not that these things don’t have value, but it’s time for me to stop thinking about the beauty of summer and start actually enjoying it. Here’s what I’m going to do to start being present this summer:

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Developing Self-Confidence: Why Most People Approach It Completely Wrong

By R.C. Thornton / 63 Comments

I recently came to some new conclusions about developing self-confidence, namely finding the confidence to make changes in one’s life (such as living a more meaningful life). They’re a bit unconventional (actually, they’re the exact opposite of how most people will tell you to develop confidence). I’ll share my epiphany with you first, and then tell you about a recent experience that got me there:

Many people say: first, try to build your self-confidence by convincing yourself to feel good (e.g. dress well, seek positive affirmations, etc.; and then go try to change the world). But I realized that never worked. No matter how “confident” I felt, I could never feel confident to do what I wanted to do. I realized, then, that this approach was completely wrong.

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Dance Your Way to Happiness and Success

By Jerry Stocking / 23 Comments

That other driver shouldn’t have cut you off! Your teenager should have cut the lawn or you should have made the cut for the soccer team when you were fifteen.

Your mind doesn’t care what day it is or even what year it is. It dredges stuff up from the past or worries about the future. It has little respect for your emotions and will often provide just the wrong thought at just the wrong time.

It will demand that eclair right after you started dieting or day dream about someone other than your spouse distracting you from the fact that today is your anniversary.

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What Climbing a Mountain Taught Me About Confidence

By Jen Waak / 19 Comments

Even though my Kilimanjaro summit was 18 months ago, I still remember that final ascent like it was yesterday. I had been told prior to my climb that it would be a life-changing experience, but I shrugged it off as, “it’s a 19,000 foot mountain – just how life-changing can it be?” But, as I took those final steps to the summit I couldn’t stop the tears from streaming down my face.As the only female in the group, I sniffled and mumbled something about the cold and the wind, and pretended it wasn’t happening.

And it would have been one thing if the tears had only been that day – but they weren’t. I found myself spontaneously bursting into tears that night, the next day, and the next day. As a matter of fact, those tears continued on for a full two weeks (at which point, I assure you, it was getting old).

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How to Stop Self-Destructive Behavior

By Halom Vered / 88 Comments

There are many ways to abuse yourself: excess alcohol consumption, overeating, and being addicted to shopping or gambling are just a few of them. Any activity you compulsively pursue which harms you in a significant way is self-destructive.

As a teen my destructive behavior consisted of spending whole days in front of the computer, overeating, and totally avoiding any physical activity. When I turned eighteen I was drafted to the military service. This forced me to completely and immediately cut these negative patterns out of my life.

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Are Your Passions Preventing You From Reaching Your Big Goals?

By Timo Kiander / 33 Comments

Do you have a thing you love to do – something you are passionate about? Time seems to fly when you spend time on these activities (for example a hobby) and you feel happy and content with yourself.

However, sometimes a certain passion (or a goal related to the passion) can prevent you from achieving even bigger goals; the ones that could change your life forever.

You may be thinking, “Well … shouldn’t I be doing what I’m passionate about?” and my answer is “yes”. But, at the same time you have to stop for a minute and take a good look at your passion – is it helping you to get closer or farther from your bigger goals?

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Motivation is a Luxury

By Kirsten Long / 25 Comments

My heart sank. I couldn’t believe my alarm was ringing. It can’t be 5am already, it can’t. I really don’t feel like this. I snuggled deeper into my duvet, imagining the cold I would feel when I got up. I really, REALLY don’t feel like this. After a few minutes, I slumped out of bed with a sigh. A while later I was doing what I really, REALLY didn’t feel like doing. Gym.

Later that day, I received a call from someone who wanted me to give a presentation to a group of people. Sure, I said. I put the phone down and realised that I could start preparing straight away. “But, I don’t feel like it”, I said to myself, and promptly starting going through my emails. This time I let myself off the hook even though it was the perfect opportunity to get going.

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