Happiness

That other driver shouldn’t have cut you off! Your teenager should have cut the lawn or you should have made the cut for the soccer team when you were fifteen.

Your mind doesn’t care what day it is or even what year it is. It dredges stuff up from the past or worries about the future. It has little respect for your emotions and will often provide just the wrong thought at just the wrong time.

It will demand that eclair right after you started dieting or day dream about someone other than your spouse distracting you from the fact that today is your anniversary.

Do you find it hard to resist chocolate cake, even though you’re on a diet? Do you end up buying new DVDs or video games, even though you’ve made a careful budget?

There’s nothing wrong with you – and you’re certainly not alone. Most of us find it really difficult to stick with our goals at times. And there’s an understandable reason why.

When you’re attempting change in your life, you often need to forsake some short-term pleasures for the sake of happiness over the longer-term.The various things that appeal to you in the moment – like eating chocolate, buying a DVD, hanging out on Facebook, watching TV – are all ones that will bring you some immediate gratification.

They say there is no free lunch. But the title of this post suggests that there can be sources of happiness that are absolutely free!

It is true that one can get happiness for free as it is not a commodity. Happiness is a feeling and largely depends upon one’s thoughts and reactions. Most important things that one seeks in life are all free of cost. Blessings of parents, happiness and values for children, peace in life, trust on spouse, harmony in community, happiness in personal life, all these things are absolutely priceless and cost nothing at all.

The following ways are sources that give us abundant joy for free. Not that there is anything new or different about them but just that sometimes in our busyness and stress we ignore them. This post is simply a reminder of some of the life’s best gifts.

The pivotal event of my life happened in my early 20s.

I was living away from home for the first time, training to be a staff member for a voluntary organisation known for its cookie-cutter approach (and I’m a cookie that doesn’t cut well).

Quite a big chunk of the support money that I was supposed to be living on wasn’t coming through, and to put the tin lid on it I was in unrequited love with one of my fellow trainees.

Whenever I’m in a serious rut one of the first things that helps rectify the situation is taking a look around and evaluating the state of my living space. It may not sound like the place to start but a calm environment is usually a key ingredient towards fostering my self growth and refreshing the imagination.

After all, if my surroundings are falling apart it’s only natural that I too could start cracking at the seams.

That’s why though an occasional major cleaning or de-cluttering campaign does the job, once in a while a more drastic approach is in order. It’s something I like to call spatial rejuvenation.

I have a confession to make. I read cheesy romance novels. The kind of novels where the woman has a great career and doesn’t need a man, but that doesn’t matter. She finds one anyone in an epic adventure of suspense, mystery, and yes, passion. Sure, at first she doesn’t think they’re a good match and she might even (gasp) hate this man, but as the story unfolds, it’s obvious that they are made for each other. Love descends upon them both in a flash of brilliant desire and boom, happy ending for our couple.

Of course, these novels aren’t realistic in any sense, and no one really takes them seriously. Hidden between the pages, however, is a misconception that has permeated our lives. It’s the idea that “love happens magically,” as if meeting the right person at the right time will ignite it. Only those of us who win the love lottery will get to experience true love.